I don’t know if it’s the restaurant they’re talking about or the ‘Black Kob’ dish they serve. But one things for sure, it’s the best goddamn fish I’ve had in my life.

Do yourself a favour and sit your sweet little ass inside Charango restaurant on Bree Street. It’s opposite &Union (did they change their name? Someone said? Not sure..) and just down from that butcher. You know, over the road from Clarkes. Next to that fish shop (that failed, apparently).

I should really just give you the Google Street View link HERE.

Anyway, I flipped the nanny a fiver and took my babe out for dinner the other night. We grabbed a toot at Brewers & Union (yes, that’s what it’s called now – apologies) before heading across to Charango. There was a cute little thing manning the door, who guided us to our table where another cute little thing took our order.

My wife ordered, which means we wouldn’t go short. She refuses to mess around when it comes to food.

I heard someone saying ‘Black Kob’ as a I walked through and I thought I’d give it a crack.

Holy shit. I really didn’t think anything would top the starters (as I said, Sam has a knack for ordering WELL) but that Black Kob made me genuinely weak at the knees.

Seriously – it was off the chain.

They should call this place Charango Unchained.

Sam had a steak of sorts and, even though I managed to keep her away from my actual fish, there seemed to be a race to see which of us could finish the bed of quinoa the fish was on, first. I realized I was losing so I stabbed her in the eye with my fork and, as she lay on the ground screaming, I quickly finished the quinoa. When she returned (someone took her to the City Park hospital over the road, as I sampled a cocktail), she said that next time she would ask for the steak to also be on a bed of quinoa.

Good idea.

Here’s my Black Cob

I tell you what’s also a good idea, is for you to book a table at Charango before they become famous for having a three month waiting list, which will be soon. Of that, you can be sure. Then you’ll NEVER get a table. And I won’t help you get one either – because I’ve warned you.

Consider yourself warned.

I.AM.NOT.KIDDING.PEOPLE.

You can check out their full menu here. 

Here’s their contact details to make a booking.

Download their press release here. 

Check out the Charango website here. 

ps. I must apologise for the main image above – it has nothing to do with Charango. Well, in a way it does. You see, I went to Shutterstock image catalogue to find a main image for this story. Following my Black Kob experience, I felt compelled to use the search phrase ‘sexual food’ and this came up as one of the options. Fair enough. As I’m sure you will agree, it was too awesome not to use. Hoping for a splash of coincidence, I checked the Charango menu and, although their cocktails are outrageously awesome to read (and taste) they do not have a banana dish.