I’ve never desired to be filthy, stinking rich but if anyone feels like lending me R60 odd million I promise I can put it towards a good cause.

That cause would be revelling in absolute bloody opulence, throwing lavish sleepover parties of the adult variety and generally living well beyond my means – until I could no longer afford the rates and was escorted from the premises.

That being said, let’s put my finances to the side and take a gander at what R60-65 million (because if you can afford it what’s the difference) will get you in two of Cape Town’s most sought after locations. You may remember last month we did a rental comparison between Camps Bay and Llandudno but we’re not here to muck about, let’s own some land.

Excuse me if I salivate a little whilst writing this, these really are two absolute beauties. First up let’s get somewhat familiar with these two rippers listed on Pam Golding Properties, with Clifton (R65 million) first and Llandudno (R60 million) following:

Now for the bit that should have your nipples standing on end – some pictures of the properties. Time to shine Clifton…

My goodness that will do just fine – that view pretty much ensuring I’m not leaving the house unless there are some seriously pressing matters. Don’t go signing on the dotted line just yet my friends, Llandudno is bringing the heat.

You’re free to make your own mind up but I’m probably leaning towards my own pimped out Llandudno mansion, it looks like it could host some Great Gatsby-esque parties and who doesn’t want to act like Leo DiCaprio?

So I’ll maybe just take that R65 million off your hands, keep the R5 million change for a rainy day and we’ll call it even. Heck, you might even crack an invite to one of my sleepovers if you play your cards right.

Whether you’re playing in the major leagues or looking for your first home make sure to talk to the folks at Pam Golding Properties – they aren’t the industry leaders for nothing you know.