Not to make light of the Shrien Dewani and Oscar Pistorius trials in any way, but it sure is great to have another gripping South African murder-mystery to watch unfold…

…Enter mummy’s boy Christopher Panayiotou and all of his extra-marital escapades and we have a man who, in my eyes, is 84 000 shades away from innocent. By now we have all heard about his secret lover, one 26-year old Chanelle Coutts, who almost had an emotional breakdown and had to hire lawyers when Chris’ shit hit the fan.

Looks like Chris spoilt her rotten with gifts… and a lizard.

In his affidavit to the Port Elizabeth Magistarte’s Court, investigating officer Lieutenant Rhynhardt Swanepoel said Panayiotou bought Coutts “numerous gifts, they met secretly at hotels, restaurants and even at [his house] when [Jayde] was with her parents.

Swanepoel went to explain that Coutts was a “jealous lover” and that she was “opposed to his marriage”. The two started the affair a year before Jayde and Chris got married.

At times Coutts got so bad that Chris had to buy her friend Clarishka Kapp “expensive gifts” as well to help with “smoothing the secret love affair” over.  He had “showered” Coutts with gifts like “a watch from Texas” and a GHD, and had once bought her a lizard for her birthday.

Yes, a lizard. Look, the watch and the GHD I can understand (since 2007 not a day has gone by where I do not use and gratefully thank my GHD for making me look half decent), but a reptile? As a birthday gift? Maybe she had asked for a new Lizzard wetsuit and Chris got mixed up?

My goodness, Chris. What a balls up you’ve gotten yourself into.

[Source: The Sunday Times]