OK prawns, I know this one is bound to get your toit spandex knickers in a twist but it’s all for a bit of a laugh so cool your jets. Also, stay alive and keep at least 1,5 metres away from our offices, you know the rules.

The guys at The Bounce put together their ’10 reasons why guys must fight the exodus from golf to cycling’. They bemoan the dwindling numbers of golfers and place the blame on people becoming more health-conscious. That, and it’s also far harder to annoy road users whilst enjoying a round, other than a really errant tee shot.

We have selected a few  of their reasons below:

Cycling makes you look like a knob

Golf is a much better thing to introduce your kids to

What sounds better?

“Hey Johnny, you want to go to the golf course and hit some balls and bond over a game we can play together until I die which is both realistically competitive and mutually fun and teaches you patience, etiquette and social skills?”

“Hey Johnny, you want to wear some rediculous clothing, get onto a bike and ride behind me where conversation will be limited to me basically telling you to keep up while we run the risk of being killed by cars, crashing into pot holes, and getting the most embarrassing tan marks known to man?”

Cycling is a gateway drug to other dreadful activities

The problem with cycling is that even cyclists find it boring. Not fully fulfilled, cyclists often turn to other things like paddle skiing, trail running, hiking or even worse – triathlons. The only thing more annoying that someone acting smug about doing a MBA is someone activing (sic) smug about doing the Ironman.

Golf allows you to be a guy, cycling makes you boring.

Guys need to compete against other guys in life – that’s a fact. We need direct competition, and as we are no longer gladiators or soldiers at war, our DNA needs to be sparked in some other way. Cycling is terrible at this as you are ultimately just going against a clock, or a distance, or the fat you no longer want on your body…

Golf though puts guys against each other in a brilliant physical and mental environment, a place where healthy banter and redicule (sic) reigns, and raw ability is constantly under examination.

Did everyone manage to have a chuckle? We hope so. Are we going to get strongly worded emails from disgruntled cyclists who fail to see any humour in the above? We know so.

You can read the full list HERE.

[source:thebounce]