Hey, you know what’s cooler than watching ’50 Shades of Grey’ at the cinema? Almost everything.

But let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that you want to spice things up a little in the bedroom but you worry that the trip from cinema to sex dungeon, complete with traffic and parking attendants, might kill the mood before you can bust out the whips and chains. What if you could have your own home cinema? Yeah, now who’s erect.

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you the Mini Multimedia Portable Projector. Groupon is now selling these guys from R899, which does of course include FREE delivery.

Turn your laptop or TV into a private cinema screening and stop paying extortionate prices for popcorn and chocolates (those who sneak your own in, no judgement). You want to know what’s really nifty? Plug in a USB stick for all your pirated movies and shows or step your holiday slideshow up a notch by popping your camera’s SD card in.

Built-in speakers

Virtually silent cooling fan

Tripod compatible

48 Lumens

20 000 hours LED Lamp

Convenient Inputs: A/V, USB and SD Cards

Audio Output jack for headphones or external speakers

Dual voltage power supply

Resolution: 320 x 240 with adjustable focus lens

Dimensions: 23cm x 17cm

Take your pick of either black or white and enjoy all the perks of cinema-going without those dickheads who insist on talking constantly. R899, HERE, come now.