It seems everything does go full circle. Just as the SLOW lounges at SA airports became the coolest place to hang before flights, the poor-man’s alternative (Bidvest) began emptying out. And now look what’s happened.

It’s like anything I guess – something that starts off exclusive gets leveraged and geared and oversubscribed and suddenly it’s not so exclusive anymore and everyone runs away. Heavens, there was even a time that the Bidvest lounge was cool. But then membership became linked to every reward programme or loyalty card or new bank account under the sun. I used to rely on my American Express Platinum card to get me in there, and used to take pride when I whipped it out. Now I see people gaining access with blue, green and red cards.

The horror!

And so I high-tailed it out of there and gained SLOW lounge membership. Much better. Baristas make cappuccinos for you and there’s an awesome buffet with fine wine by the glass. All-in-all, a more sophisticated take on business travel. I used to brag on Twitter that I had finally found my happy place and I wished all the rabble the best of luck in the Bidvest lounge.

But then I started noticing fellow SLOW lounge members arriving in outfits that reminded me of my final days in the Bidvest lounge. Who ARE these people? I started running into faces I used to avoid in the Bidvest lounge. What exactly has happened, I pondered. But now, after some gentle investigation, I see that SLOW lounge membership is indeed linked to more credit cards than exclusivity can allow. Including FNB’s platinum credit card or cheque accounts, FNB’s private clients cheque account or credit card and more.

And do you know how hard it is to get an FNB Platinum card? Just open a shelf company and walk in with your ID and open a business account. When they ask you what card you want, say “platinum” and you’ll get one. FACT. I know because it happened to a friend of mine. He gained instant access to SLOW lounge and until he had a certain turnover (R16k a month) he simply had to pay a nominal fee when using SLOW lounge each time.

The SLOW lounge has officially turned into a circus.

And so, on a recent trip to Jo’burg, I pulled out the trusty Amex and went back into the Bidvest lounge. Aaah – what a pleasure! There was hardly anyone there and I stretched out over two damaged lounge seats, and popped the iPad on charge.

The coffee is shit, but I’ll take the space and relaxed vibe over the chaos that is currently going on in the SLOW lounge.

Plus it seems all the loud cellphone talkers have moved across to SLOW as well. To do their ‘big business deals’ with everyone listening to every word.

Sis.