This is me at least seven days a week:

Currently, the world is short one million metric tons of cocoa to keep us all happy. By 2030, it will be two million metric tons. I suggest you plant your cocoa bushes now.

Because of disease, drought, rapacious new markets and the displacement of cacao by more-productive crops such as corn and rubber, demand is expected to outstrip supply by an additional 1 million tons every decade for the foreseeable future.

The value of cocoa has gone up (supply vs demand – nailed Ecos 101).

From 1993 to 2007, the price of cocoa averaged $1,465 a ton; during the subsequent six years, the average was $2,736.

And yes, they can water down the chocolate, but then it will taste rubbish and ladies the world over will complain bitterly about their 90% dark chocolate, which we do not want (do we, gentlemen?).

BUT, there is HOPE! A new breed of cocoa that is “engineered to be not just fecund and disease-free but also flavorful” could save the world.

In the meantime, we also suggest you start buying up as much chocolate as you possibly can. If you do that at Kalahari, they will even deliver it to you, so no one needs to see what a pig you are being as you prepare for the chocpocalypse .

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