Check out the Big 5 at 5 today, exclusive for WeChat users, brought to you by 2oceansvibe.

Schabir Shaik “Has To Carry Around A Jar Of Vaseline Because He Gets Fucked All The Time” – Schabir Shaik is our country’s favourite fraudster. If he isn’t lying about his qualifications, he is staying at private game lodges instead of being in prison. Now he can add this to his list of amazingness. Here

You Won’t Believe How Many Letters And Parcels Are Piled Up At The Post Office – The dog show that is the South African Post Office seriously needs to be privatised by someone with acute OCD. Then maybe it will work. Here

This Merrill Lynch Equity Trader Is Acting Out American Psycho Murders – This guy seriously needs to visit Disneyland for a weekend of fun and laughter, and maybe cut out on the fantasy that he is the real American Psycho. Here

The Deer With Fangs Has Been spotted For The First Time In 66 Years – They can add this into the Bambi sequel, should they ever make one. This fanged deer will change all the children’s opinions about running through forests. Here

Man Climbs On Dead Whale – Gets Surrounded By Sharks [Video] – This guy… he probably deserves that award for stupid people. Also, he should probably never breed. Ever. It could cause the end of the Australian accent. Actually, on that note… Here