Maria Phalime starts her opinion piece off wisely:

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

I like this girl. She is a writer and a mother. She is married to a white man, and she is not afraid to have an actual opinion, which is awesome. I love people with opinions. I can’t handle people who are indifferent to important issues.

Maria tells a story about how, on her last birthday, she had preened and pampered and dressed up to the nines, and was out enjoying a lavish meal in Cape Town. As any girl will know, a little trip to the ladies room is always in order, to check for sesame seeds and spinach and smudged make up. On her way to the ladies though, Maria was stopped by a fellow patron and asked for an extra chair.

My initial thought was: Why is he asking me about a chair? But before I’d even completed the thought the answer bubbled up from that place of knowing so familiar to black people. He thought I worked there. We both knew what he thought: What reason could there possibly be for a black person to be at this establishment except as an employee, to fetch his chair, serve his food and clear away his plates?

I was up in Joburg this past weekend, and it was wonderful to see restaurants and bars frequented by an equal mix of races. It’s really not something we see very often in the Mother City. Black, white, purple, green, punk rock hipsters, lawyers… It’s such a diverse city and the difference is easily notable.

Lwandile Fikeni is another great guy. He recounts a story about climbing up Table Mountain with his girlfriend. She is from Gugulethu, and he lives in Vredehoek. She is a CA, but she is “still the girl from Gugs”. Together, they experience the difference in culture between the quiet, tree-lined ‘burbs in the city versus the loud, vibrant townships.

A tourist couple passed them on their hike, slipped on a wet boulder, and landed in a pool of water. Lwandile helped them out, and asked them if there was another route down the mountain. The foreign couple knew more than they did, it turned out. Why was this?

“It’s because they took all the land and stuffed us in townships and bantustans all those years ago, with Bantu education,” I say. “We’re still in the townships eking out a living from the scraps and leftovers of this city,” she says. “With a fancy car and CA qualification I’m still the girl from Gugs. Even at work. They still want to send me on errands like a maid. That’s the only way they know how to relate to me.”

It is interesting to hear these stories, and I’ve spoken about them before. It’s a delicate subject to talk about. It’s often the big elephant in the room. But, as Ghandi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Check out the full pieces on City Press