There’s nothing quite as juicy in the world of the internet than someone else’s relationship problem – sick and twisted as this may be. This guy probably didn’t expect this response from his wife.

It is not news that married couples often complain about their sex life and the lack thereof. But to make a spreadsheet of all the reasons your wife gives you for not wanting to have sex at that exact moment? We are sure there is more to this story than this so really, who are we to judge. But seriously, look at this:

The unnamed man then collated the information and put it into an excel document before emailing it to his wife as she arrived at an airport ahead of a 10-day business trip.

Excuses also include “I’m exhausted”, “I need a shower” (didn’t shower until next morning), “I’m trying to watch the movie” (fell asleep 15 min later) along with a few cases of not feeling too well and a number of ‘non-verbals’.

Shocked at the email, the anonymous lady tried to get in touch with her husband but found he had cut contact with her.