Archie Andrews Dead: Comic Hero Shot Saving Gay Friend – Maybe that viral story about redheads going extinct wasn’t a complete hoax after all. Archie Andrews, star of the long-running Archie Comics universe, will take a bullet on Wednesday in a fearless leap to save his gay friend from an assassination attempt. [ibtimes]

Pistorius Family: Mortimer Seeking Attention – The man who claimed to have been involved in an altercation with murder-accused Oscar Pistorius was seeking attention, Pistorius’s family said on Tuesday. [n24]

Yes, of course. It’s never his fault. Pistorius and his family obviously haven’t read this letter. 

Apple Joins With IBM On Business Software – In a deal that could deepen Apple’s sales to corporations and strengthen IBM’s position in business software, the two companies announced a wide-ranging partnership intended to spread advanced mobile and data analysis technology in the corporate world. [nyt]

Germany ‘May Revert To Typewriters’ To Counter Hi-Tech Espionage – German politicians are considering a return to using manual typewriters for sensitive documents in the wake of the US surveillance scandal. [guardian]

Yahoo Profit Declines Due To Disappointing Ad Sales – Internet giant Yahoo reported that profit decreased by 18% to $270m (£157m) during the three months to the end of June. Revenue also fell, dropping 3% to $1.08bn. [bbc]

Big Tobacco Firms Merge as Cigarette Sales Decline – Reynolds American announced Tuesday that it would buy the third largest tobacco company in the U.S., Lorillard for $27.4 billion. [time]

Shifting Afrikaans Programmes Is Illegal: FF Plus – The SABC’s decision to move Afrikaans programmes from SABC2 to SABC3 was illegal, the Freedom Front Plus (FF Plus) said on Tuesday. [tlive]

10 Copies Of Seth Rotherham’s Book Up For Grabs – Seth has written a book giving first hand insight into how he setup a series of zero maintenance websites that earn him a passive income. Now you can do the same. Win a copy [here]

Theme Park Employees Caught In Sex Stings, Child Porn Arrests – Just days after getting arrested in a child sex sting, Robert Kingsolver is a long way from his beloved job at Walt Disney World. [cnn]

Brazilian Who Turned 126 Years Old Last Week Could Be Oldest Living Person – A Brazilian man aged 126 years old is thought to be oldest living man ever documented, according to reports. [telegraph]

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White House Strong-Arms Photo Agency To Squash Malia Photos – Malia Obama went to a famous L.A. restaurant Monday night — a restaurant regularly frequented by celebs and paparazzi — and when the White House found out a photog took her pic, they went into DEFCON 1 to KILL the photos. [tmz]

Male Nurse With Cannibal Fetish ‘Groomed Girl, 14, Online To Meet, Kill And Eat’ – A male nurse with a cannibalism fetish plotted to meet a 14-year-old girl to behead, cook and eat her after having sex, a court has heard. [metro]

Colin Farrell Reportedly In Talks To Star In True Detective’s Season 2 – Deadline reports that Colin Farrell is “deep in negotiations” to star in the upcoming season of HBO’s multi-Emmy nominee True Detective. [defamer]

Parents: Son Committed Suicide After Viral Video of Him Masturbating – The parents of 14-year-old Matthew Burdette claim that their son committed suicide after he was “mercilessly” bullied for a video taken by one of his classmates of him allegedly masturbating in a bathroom stall. [gawker]

Wet & Wild Kendall Jenner – Sizzles In Black Lingerie For Love Magazine [star]

The Winter Specials Won’t Stop – Mondiall restaurant has it all. The View, The Vibe and The Menu – Do not miss out on their Winter Special Menu – Cider glazed Pork Belly, Craster Fish Pie and Guiness Choclate Pudding – Who would say no to that, BOOK ONLINE NOW. For more information on their winter specials check them out. [HERE]

Fashion Shoot All About Bums – If you have a bum fascination, you’ll love this shoot. [vice]

George Clooney to Daily Mail: Thanks but No Thanks for the Apology – Earlier this week, George Clooney took to the tabloid USA Today to respond to a story about his fiancé’s mother that was published in the tabloid The Daily Mail. The Mail has since removed the story and (sort of) apologized, but Clooney is just not having it. [defamer]

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YOU’D BE CRAZY NOT TO CHECK THESE OUT

There are a number of ongoing deals setup at our various exclusive partners. Here they are – just for you;-)

R1,500 A Month For An Office In The Woodstock Exchange – This is your ‘in’ to the buzz that is the Woodstock Exchange. You get a desk, internet and the cool factor you’ve been missing. [thebureaux]

Cook Amazing Meals With Awesome Recipes And Fresh Ingredients Delivered – Every week DailyDish delivers the exact ingredients you need + recipes for four amazing meals. Stop killing yourself shopping for food in the week. Now you can just do the fun part – cooking and eating! [check it out]

Case Of Pierre Jourdan MCC for Only R600 – For something that usually sells in high-end restaurants for R250+ it’s nice to know you can order Pierre Jourdan Cuvee  Brut for only R100 a bottle. [check it out]

This Is How You Can Get The NEW 2014 MINI Hatch For Under R3,500 – Shopping for a new car can be utterly intimidating. You know how it goes: You want something reliable and sturdy, yet something that’s still, well, sexy. Oh yes, and not too expensive. [2ov]

50% Off At Grootbos Private Luxury Lodge, Just 2 Hours Out Of Cape Town – Finally the last minute deal returns! If you book at Grootbos within 48 hours of arrival, you get 50% off your booking. That’s a VERY healthy discount – especially for a 5-star luxury surrounded by the splendour of nature. [check it out]

How Can You Leave Your Dog At Home While You Go To Work? – You say he’s part of the family – yet you’d never leave your human child at home, alone, for the whole day. Drop that little rascal off at Proud Hounds and see the joy in his eyes! [proudhounds]

First Month Storage Space Only R1 At Stor-Age – Whether you need a locker for a bicycle or a garage for your house contents, Stor-age has the space you need. And they’re offering a special R1 for the first month deal – no strings attached! You can take you stauff out after one month – no problem! [check it out]

Get R150 Off Your First Uber Ride – If you haven’t tried Uber yet, you’re making a mockery of yourself. Stop riding cheap unreliable taxis with drivers who don’t know if they’re coming or going. Give yourself the private driver treatment with Uber and get R180 off your first ride! Sign up and boom, you’re done! [check it out]

Affordable Cane Furniture – If you’re buying cane or wicker furniture anywhere else, you’re wasting a lot of time and money. These guys import direct from Malawi. Hand-Made cane furniture – buy online and have it delivered! [check it out]

Check out our brand new 2oceansvibe Radio site with all the latest Entertainment, Music and Fashion news as well as all our DJ’s info, Schedules, Charts and loads more – 2oceansviberadio.com

The Rude Interlude 3pm – One of 2ov’s newest and most exciting shows, catch Rudy Gibbons’ whacky take on news and lifestyle over the best part of your afternoon. If you’re looking for something different to your average drive time show, you’ve just found it. On air from 3pm – 5pm [RudeInterlude]

Captain Kai’s World 6pm – Your Wednesday night just got a whole lot better. Captain Kai is a serial blogger and is an expert in the field of Action Sports. All of this is played out to a backtrack of underground rock and hip hop beats so tune in from 6pm – 8pm [CaptainKais]