As toddlers, we have no conception of the realistic boundaries that govern the act of gift-giving. At that age anything is possible, so long as you ask Santa Claus nicely enough.

Drew Magary, a writer for Deadspin, came forward with his child’s offering this christmas:

This is nothing if not ambitious.

Apart from asking Santa to bend the rules of Newtonian physics, her request for a “a new canape that glows up” is particularly odd. Is she asking for a glowing-neon cocktail sausage with a flashing dipping sauce?

Magary goes on a bit of a rampage about his daughter’s other request for a pair of ‘Monster High ear buds’:

This is Monster High, and it’s https://buyambienfastmed.com completely fucked. It’s like someone at Mattel held up a market research study and screamed, “Our Barbie dolls aren’t causing as much body dysmorphia in children as they used to! MAKE ME A LINE OF BULIMIC VAMPIRE DOLLS OR YOU’RE ALL FUCKING FIRED.” How are these toys even legal? It’s like handing your child a Steve Madden ad. Anyway, these are cheap, so maybe I’ll get them if you are good. FUN FACT: A child could go on a five-state killing spree and no parent would be heartless enough to actually bail on Christmas presents. The nice list has worse grade inflation than Harvard.

[Source : Deadspin]