Don’t get me wrong- the basic idea of having a ‘photo booth’ at your wedding is, fundamentally, quite cool. I get it. It’s fun and all that but please… Stop it… Just stop it right now.

Photo booths, along with bars that are approximately one mile away from the dance floor are my biggest gripes when it comes to weddings. I recall a time in the not too distant past when photo booths at weddings were quite cool, original and fun. For me now, they are just a massive pain in the ass.  A photo booth located ‘around the corner’ from your dance floor is akin to basically saying- “I want to fuck up my whole jol”.

For starters, I guarantee you that you that every single girl at a wedding will spend at least 20-30 mins in and around the photo both at any given time of the evening. The guys will also get involved as the night progresses. For me, it’s actually quite simple- do you want to have a rocking jol and a heaving dance floor or do you want to disperse the shit out of your party?

For me, if you really do want to have to have a photo booth, I would have it open from the beginning of the canapés until, like, 9pm and the end of all the formalities. The canapés and breaks between all of the speeches and other natural gaps are the perfect time for all of that stuff. It totally detracts from the whole event if you have it running till late on in proceedings.

Some people get in an actual photo booth, which is quite a major effort. It’s the wedding photographers who offer (and presumably charge extra for) a ‘photo booth’ product who just blatantly stick up a sheet and leave some funny hats lying about that are really taking the piss.

Look, five years ago it might have actually been quite cool and fun. But it’s SO BEEN DONE NOW. Please stop it and stop making my life as a party bandleader so much harder. For me, the best idea is to stick a load of disposal cameras at each table and develop the photos after the event. Sure, you will end up with a minimum of five photos of people’s genitals but that’s still way cooler and so much less disruptive than a bloody photo booth.

It’s mental. Rant over. Anyone agree with me?