Wimbledon Champion Bartoli Announces Shock Retirement – Wimbledon champion Marion Bartoli shocked the tennis world on Wednesday by announcing her retirement from the sport at the age of 28. [ibnlive]

Bloodbath In Cairo, Egypt, Leaves 278 People Dead, Including Sky News Cameraman – Egypt declared a state of emergency. VP Mohamed ElBaradei resigns [newsau]

SA Stocks Scale Fresh Record Highs – South African stocks climbed to a third straight record close on Wednesday. Mining companies such as Gold Fields were given a lift from a higher bullion price and European shares rose after data showed the eurozone emerging from recession. [fin24]

Most Expensive Water Menu Debuts in LA – A Los Angeles restaurant has announced plans to launch a 23-page water menu that will serve 20 “varietals” of water as well as an H20 “tasting menu” for $12 (R115). [luxuo]

Khanyi Dhlomo Pens Letter To CityPress Editor – “Thank you for your piece on the Luminance funding issue. I found it balanced and was pleased that it highlighted a number of key racial, political and business challenges that we have yet to overcome as a country.” [more]

Teen Convicted For Sending Facebook Friend Request In Sweden – There are a few people you probably shouldn’t friend on Facebook, like your boss, total strangers or — as one Swedish teen recently learned — someone who has filed a restraining order against you. [huffpo]

Cosatu’s Vavi Put On Indefinite Special Leave – Cosatu boss Zwelinzima Vavi has been put on special leave after he admitted to having sex with a junior staff member, who has also been put on special leave. [mg]

Russian TV Presenter Comes Out On Air, Gets Fired – Russian television anchor Anton Krasovsky has been fired from his job after coming out on the air earlier this year. [advocate]

FIFA Asks 2018 World Cup Host Russia To Clarify Anti-Gay Law – FIFA has asked authorities in 2018 World Cup host Russia for “clarification and more details” about a new anti-gay law, joining the International Olympic Committee in seeking answers from Moscow. [cbc]

Lindsay Lohan to Guest Star on Eastbound & Down – Lindsay Lohan, who wrote on Instagram yesterday about being back at work without actually specifying what that work entailed, was shooting scenes for Eastbound & Down in Wilmington, N.C. [eonline]

Yes!

Jesse Jackson Jnr. Is Going To Prison For 30 Months – Former U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., once a rising Democratic star whose political fortunes imploded over the use of campaign finances to support lavish personal spending, was sentenced to 30 months in prison on Wednesday. [cnn]

New York Times Website Crashes For 2 Hours – The Web site of The New York Times was off-line for about two hours on Wednesday in what company officials say was a failure during regular maintenance of NYTimes.com and not the result of a cyberattack. [newyorktimes]

U.N. Says Chemical Weapons Investigators To Visit Syria Imminently – U.N. experts will travel to Syria imminently to investigate claims of chemical weapons use during that country’s civil war after the United Nations and the Syrian government agreed on details of the trip. [reuters]

Bradley Manning Says Sorry For Leaks That ‘Hurt The United States’ – Manning, 25, speaks at sentencing phase of his trial and says ‘I believed I was going to help people, not hurt people’ [guardian]

Quiche Thieves In Five-Hour Police Standoff – A pair of armed thieves became involved in a lengthy standoff with police having reportedly barricaded themselves into a cafe after breaking in to get quiche. [guardian]

Unauthorised YouTube Adverts Exposed By Security Firm – A London-based team of security researchers has exposed a scheme which inserted unauthorised adverts into Google’s YouTube. [bbc]

Bill Gates Has Another Wild Idea: Automatically Generating Video From Text – Bill Gates and Nathan Myhrvold, the technology duo who brought us such classics as the Hurricane Suppression System for the Gulf of Mexico, are back with another idea: A device or app that can automatically create a customized video snippet from any random selection of text. [geekwire]

Lady Gaga Nude In V Magazine, Talks New Look And Tumultuous Past (NSFW PHOTOS) – Lady Gaga has been sporting a new look these days, ditching her shiny costumes and platinum blond wigs for grungy ensembles and her natural brunette locks. And on the cover of the September issue of V Magazine, Mother Monster proves that she’s willing to head back to her roots in order to create a different vibe. [huffers]

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