I ordered a Meat Tornado! This is America, FFS!

Republican nominee and US Presidential hopeful, Herman Cain is a man with a lot on his plate these days; whether he’s trying to convince his party, and American taxpayers, to swallow his 9-9-9 tax reform strategy, fending off a series of angry women giving him a mouthful about alleged sexual harassment earlier in his career, or chewing on the indigestible arguments of his running opponents at successive GOP debates.

It’s enough to test even the hardiest appetite for scandal- but never fear, just when the controversy-weary GOP imagined the worst was over, Herman goes and serves up another slice.

Herman chatted to GQ recently and dropped a little knowledge on men everywhere regarding appropriate pizza toppings. Long story short: the topping maketh the man.

GQ: What can you tell about a man by the type of pizza that he likes?

Herman Cain: [repeats the question aloud, then pauses for a long moment] The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is.

GQ: Why is that?

Herman Cain: Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance. [laughs]

GQ: Is that purely a meat question?

Herman Cain: A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.

Charming! I particularly like the part about ‘manly men’ not being afraid of “abundance,” which makes for interesting political analogy, given the trillions in debt that Washington owes the Chinese.

To return to the core issue. Guys, just remember:

= Manly!

= Sissy!

= Cholesterol check up!

[Source: Towleroad]