In last week’s column I asked what kind of wine content you would like to see me write about. The comment that popped up more than most was about supermarkets, that is, how to deal with a wall of wines, all staring at you from the shelf. Which to buy? How do I know I won’t end up with battery acid? Oh god, the decisions. Too. Many. Wines. Fuck it, I’ll just get that coffee flavoured Pinotage.

Well, you are not alone. I decided to do a bit of research by visiting a supermarket shelf to see if I could work out how to make your wine purchasing easier. I watched people for half an hour and discovered two types of wine buyers. The one walks in confidently, knows what she or he wants, and grabs a bottle without even a cursory look at anything else. I’m sure they drink the same wine every single night. A boring existence, but at least they don’t have the hard time the second type of wine buyer has.

The second type of buyer wanders up to the wine shelf and just stares at it. Flummoxed, his jaw slowly slips open, he shuffles along a bit, maybe picking up a bottle, reading the back label hoping for it to say “Buy me, I am the wine you are looking for”, but finds it just reads “Cherries, tobacco, spice, goes well with a variety of foods”, which is about as helpful as a stainless-steel life-jacket. He gives up and buys whatever is closest to hand, at around the price he wants.

What to do?

Well my first piece of advice is to stop buying wine at supermarkets. A specialist wine shop is always better. The wines are arranged decently, the general quality is higher and you can talk to someone who has actually tasted the wines. I guarantee that if you start buying your wine at a wine shop you will drink better wine.

If you have to shop at a supermarket, there are a few ways to make your life a little easier. I can’t tell you exactly what to drink – that takes the fun out of wine – but I will tell you about the wines I drink. You will then get to know if we enjoy similar wines or not. This takes time. But eventually we will get to a point where if I go, “Wooohooo! This is a fist-pumping, victory dance-making, take it home and make sweet love to it Chenin blanc!” you will know whether to run out and buy it or not.

Back to Supermarkets. The first thing you have to know is the majority of supermarkets don’t really seem to give a shit about their wine selection. There is hardly ever anyone to ask about the wines (you may get someone in one of the bottle stores), there is a lot of crappy, boring wine, and the wines are packed onto the shelves as if they are purposely trying to make your like difficult. After scrutinising the shelves for some moments, some semblance of an organisational pattern may begin to emerge. You will find there is some sort of order, and that’s the first place to start. What do you want?

Fresh and zingy? Sauvignon Blanc. Fruit Salad? Chenin Blanc. Cooking a steak? Cabernet Sauvignon. Like spice? Get a Shiraz. You get the idea. Once you kind of know what you want, there aren’t really that many wines to choose from. If you have decided on, say, a Shiraz at R50, then there really is only a handful wines to choose from.

Here are some general guides for buying better wines:

I would avoid Merlot. There is nothing wrong with Merlot as a type of grape, it is just that there is a good chance that the Merlot you buy is going to be nasty. We struggle with Merlot in the Cape. Chenin Blanc offers really good value. Red blends are also a good idea if you are stuck for a red wine. Actually, that’s really good advice. If you are staring, slack-jawed, at the wine shelf remember this: if you need a white, get a Chenin (if you like them buttery get one that is wooded), and if you need a red, get a blend. This is only if you have no time to think and don’t really care. I’m basically giving advice to make your odds of getting a decent wine much better, okay? Okay?

Otherwise it is all about practice. Trial and error. The more you drink, the better you will be at picking decent wines. Also, the chances of you getting a really shitty wine are pretty slim these days. The wine might be as interesting as a lump of coal, but it will be drinkable.

After I had finished staring at the people buying wine – an odd sentence, my mom must be so proud – I bought three wines. I decided to get one really cheap wine (under R30) one in the 40-50 range, and one at around R100.

El Cheapo
Alexanderfontein Chenin Blanc 2010 – R24.99
Easy going. Good for braais. Fresh, fruity, uncomplicated. If I had one complaint, it would be that the concentration of flavour was lacking a little. But for 25 bucks, that’s like sending back a McDonalds burger because it didn’t have a decent garnish. Chenin Blanc FTW!

Middle O’ the Road
Goats Do Roam Red Blend (Fairview) 2010 – R42.99
To be honest, this was a little disappointing. Nothing wrong with it, per se,  just a bit plain. It was composed mainly of Shiraz, so there was some nice spiciness. Kind of mild red fruit flavours. Okay. I think there are better wines at this price. But, this is very safe wine.

If you took these two wines to dinner, you would be doing well, and for under R70. Not exciting, but not bad.

A Buffalo
Paul Cluver Rhine Riesling 2010 – R99
I dig Riesling, and the Paul Cluver version kicks some serious ass. There is a touch of sweetness with some green appley goodness.  Hot damn! It is drinkable. I finished the bottle in half an hour. Couldn’t help myself. Delicious. Every sip was like biting into a fresh, juicy piece of fruit.

Final tip: I reckon out of all the food stores, Woolworths has the best wine selection.

Well, I hope this helps next time you are at the supermarket shelf. If you have had any good Supermarket wines lately, please let us know in the comments.