Flight of the Conchords were right on the money when they sang Robots. The Robot, The Robo Boogie, global robo-depression, the robotic uprising of the ’90s – it’s actually scary how many parallels there are with Transformers: Dark of the Moon… the third film in the series based on the popular ’80s cartoon series – directed by Michael Bay. Okay, there are one or two discrepancies… they didn’t “poison our asses” and the humans are not dead, but hey… it’s still eerie.

Now if you don’t believe in aliens or robots, you may as well stop reading,  because this movie is about creatures from outer space that can transform from man-made vehicles into robotic beings and vice-versa. There are obviously questions surrounding their need for humans, since they are able to drive themselves automatically and never seem to refuel. So, let’s for one minute assume they’re just like E.T., yes – as in “E.T. phone home”, another Steven Spielberg alien project that substitutes aliens for pets.

Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf) is ready to save the world again. The dude’s struggling to get a job and he’s rescued humanity twice already… so it was an easy decision, give the guy a break. Normally, an unemployed kid who drives a “classic” Datsun with his parents living on his doorstep wouldn’t get the chance to date a supermodel. In case you didn’t notice, this is the world of the Transformers – where metallic boy toys do battle in a bid to save their planet, Cybertron. In other words, anything goes.

Yep – it’s a lot to get through… and if you watched Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – you won’t be expecting the latest installation to change your world. Revenge of the Fallen was a strobe and lights show, which dropped the audience in the deep end and said “Adios, Amigo!” in a funny voice. Close-up action shots, confused story lines, grandpa robots, transformer testicles… it was a serious dip in the series, which they probably blamed on the Hollywood writers strike.

“Hell-o nurse…”

Transformers: Dark of the Moon have done their homework. The film immerses us into the world of Transformers, with short sharp bursts of Transformer action before things go haywire. Short Circuit would be proud of the way they ingratiate humanity into a full-scale robot action meltdown. Apart from Shia LaBeouf’s best and cockiest Transformers performance, they’ve added Victoria’s Secret model-slash-actress Rosie Huntington-Whitely to the team in place of Megan Fox.

Apart from adding a serious boost to the eye candy division, she actually does a reasonable job with that cheeky British accent. She’s a bit of a car model in Transformers: Dark of the Moon – stroking a selection of rare and beautiful foreign cars. Don’t worry, they’re not Transformers. The two do have that “how on Earth did that guy land such a hottie” stigma, but no one’s complaining when she struts her stuff and that camera ain’t shy.

The rest of the cast will blow you away. It’s a comedy ensemble you’d expect from the Coen brothers… hang on, haven’t all these actors actually worked with Joel and Ethan before? John Malkovich is hilarious as an alternate boss, Frances McDormand works it as a second-in-command iron lady and John Turturro reprises his role as Agent Simmons on a ridiculous power trip. A formidable ensemble in any movie, but wait… there’s more.

“I, Robot. You, Jane.”

Josh Duhamel pulls another stoic turn as that invincible special ops soldier, Lennox. Tyrese Gibson enters the fray as another action man, Patrick Dempsey shows he’s not just good-looking, while Alan Tudyk and Ken Jeong deliver the laughs with two short-lived jester performances. It’s a monstrous cast with just about every actor fully equipped to handle comedy.

Comedy is a major driving force in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. It’s like Michael Bay has used laughter to soften us up for the big jump… that Transformers are real. Once you take that hurdle, it’s a blistering actioner, loaded with first class visual effects, jam-packed with comedy and too likable not to be entertained. The cast deliver on performance and laughs, the story is easy enough to follow and intriguing enough to maintain our attention and the full array of eye candy – from Rosie to Optimus Prime – is just too dazzling not to be transfixed.

The robots kick ass and are voiced by a solid cast including: Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime, Leonard Nimroy… the original Doc Spock, as Sentinel with Hugo Weaving, better known as Agent Smith, lending his voice to Megatron. While the robot dialogue is reduced to wise speeches or cheesy one-liners, it’s the stuff of actioners, and who are we to question the metallic giants with lips?

“Three times… isn’t it time the FBI gave me a job title?”

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is stuffed with good stuff, but it’s this good stuff that bloats the robot movie to the point of overload. The first two-thirds of Transformers 3 is dedicated to establishing the human characters, designing a feasible plot for mayhem and then unleashing the special effect sound and lights show to rule all monster movies. At two-and-a-half hours… it’s a real push, but when you think that it’s all based on a robot cartoon it’s amazing you’re still fixated after two hours.

The movie has a few similarities to Transformers, the original and War of the Worlds even, but carries enough credibility and believability to deliver on entertainment value. The 3D technology adds to the occasion and has been done properly – making the visual experience all the more satisfying and immersive. If you enjoyed the first Transformers – you’ll find Transformers: Dark of the Moon a close second. Both have a good balance of human drama versus robot action and seem to revise the blueprint on what’s possible in Hollywood.

All in all, an excellent follow-up to Transformers 2… the Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg tag team have managed to turn the franchise around with bigger effects, bigger laughs in a solid science-fiction actioner. It may run about 20 minutes too long… but the pacing makes it less noticeable, and fans won’t be complaining there’s too much robot action.

The bottom line: Thrilling.

Release Date: 29 June, 2011 (Today)
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Photo Credit: Jaimie Trueblood | 2011 PARAMOUNT PICTURES. All Rights Reserved. HASBRO, TRANSFORMERS and all related characters are trademarks of Hasbro. ©2011 Hasbro. All Rights Reserved