Yesterday a little blue bird forwarded us a juicy document.

That document is the full transcript of proceedings in a criminal case currently being argued in the Cape Town High Court.

The transcript details an altercation between Judge Lee Bozalek and Advocate Nehemiah Ballem. And by “altercation” I mean a verbal smackdown. Enjoy this portion of the exchange.

Judge: You must be careful with your attitude before the court, Mr Ballem.

Mr Ballem: But then you also mustn’t come with your attitude.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: I said, you mustn’t come with an attitude, because we are both adults, I am not your child.

Judge: Mr Ballem, I must tell you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: I said I’m not your child.

Judge: I must warn you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: You are doing whatever you want, whatever you want.

Judge: You are sailing very close to the wind.

Mr Ballem: Your mother’s poes, man, fuck you! (Mr Ballem leaves the court)

The most shocking details of the transcript are, of course, the advocate’s persistent – and rather brutal profanity – directed squarely at the Judge. These points have been pointed out by the mainstream media.

However, when you read the transcript in full (original document and full English translation below), it becomes exceedingly clear that Advocate Ballem was irked by his obligation to work on a Friday.

We’re not sure if he’ll be appearing in any court again after painting the Judge with such colourful language, so perhaps living the holiday will come sooner rather than later for our hero.

[Thanks, Schalk!]

Download the original transcript HERE

See the full translation:

Mr Ballem: May it please the court, your Honour, I appear on behalf of the appellant.

Miss Van Rooyen: Like the court has pleased, your Honour, I appear on behalf of the respondent.

Judge: Now, in the first place, Mr Ballem, where were you this morning?

Mr Ballem: Your Honour, I just want to know if my secretary gave you a message?

Judge: Yes, we have such a confused message… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: Did you… (Interruption)

Judge: About the car problems you had.

Mr Ballem: Exactly, now do you want to hear it again?

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: Do you want to hear the excuse again?

Judge: Yes.

Mr Ballem: My car broke down.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: My car broke down.

Judge: Now why did you decide this at about 10am when you knew court was ready to continue?

Mr Ballem: We had to wait for the AA.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: We had to wait for the AA.

Judge: But you obviously have a cellphone?

Mr Ballem: I didn’t know about the case, my diary was not with me.

Judge: Your bag wasn’t with you? (Judge had mistakenly heard the Afrikaans word “sakkie” after Mr Ballem used the word “saak”)

Mr Ballem: My diary was not with me.

Judge: Yes, couldn’t you have phoned the High Court a half hour before the time, an hour before the time?

Mr Ballem: Judge, how long are we going to struggle with this? I have now made an effort to get here.

Judge: Mr Ballem, maybe you don’t understand, your first duty if you have an appearance at the High Court is to be here, and you are not doing us a favour bringing your problems here. Why do you turn your face away from me when I’m talking?

Mr Ballem: Well, I asked my secretary to pass on the message and I expected her to do so.

Judge: Yes, but then we also get… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: Now you do you want to hear the excuse again?

Judge: Then we also get another funny excuse via a telephone call – can the case not just be postponed until Monday?

Mr Ballem: Precisely, and then I get the message that you are prepared to wait for me, now I’m here.

Judge: Were you involved at any other court this morning?

Mr Ballem: No I wasn’t, judge, I am now here. (Slams hand on desk)

Judge: Sir, your attitude, you must… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: But then you also mustn’t come… (Interruption)

Judge: You must be careful with your attitude before the court, Mr Ballem.

Mr Ballem: But then you also mustn’t come with your attitude.

Judge: Excuse me?

Mr Ballem: I said, you mustn’t come with an attitude, because we are both adults, I am not your child.

Judge: Mr Ballem, I must tell you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: I said I’m not your child.

Judge: I must warn you… (Interruption)

Mr Ballem: You are doing whatever you want, whatever you want.

Judge: You are sailing very close to the wind.

Mr Ballem: Your mother’s poes, man, fuck you! (Mr Ballem leaves the court)

Judge: Miss Van Rooyen?

Miss Van Rooyen: I can’t answer for that, your Honour, maybe we must just strike the case off the roll for today and look at it again… (Interruption)

Judge: I think the case must just be postponed sine dei [indefinitely].

Me Van Rooyen: I will also agree with that, your Honour, we can get other legal representation and then… (Interruption)

Judge: How will we organise that then?

Me Van Rooyen: Your Honour, I will take the case back to advocate van der Merwe, he will then decide who will take over the case and from there, if we can get the support, everything else is ready.

Judge: The case will then – I think it must be held in the same court and I think the most appropriate order is to postpone indefinitely and you can carry out the correct procedures concerning legal representation. I don’t know if we’ll see the same legal representative again. Good, this appeal is then indefinitely postponed and Snellers (legal transcribers) are asked to type out all the proceedings that have taken place here this afternoon.

[Image : IOL]