According to The Star, a woman who was seated next to Zuma started the evening by engaging in polite conversation with the president, but as the night progressed she got a little more adventurous, “touching his arm and joking with him”. 

I, like the story starved journalists that broke the story, was also shocked by such reprehensible behaviour.  “Touching” and “joking”?  How dare she.  Like I said, the man already has three wives, the last thing he needs is some floozy throwing herself at him. 

To Zuma’s credit, he maintained his composure when other lesser leaders would have faltered, remaining “aloof yet polite”.

But eventually reinforcements had to be called in when she almost stumbled into the president’s arms, with his bodyguards swooping in and moving the woman one seat away. 

That’s when one brave soul stepped up, the unnamed wife of an Eskom civil engineer to be exact.  She braved our leaders immense sexual magnetism and took the flirtatious woman’s place, successfully shielding him from ‘danger’ and saving the day.  

And don’t you worry about JZ, later in the night he managed to put the incident behind him and ripped up the dance floor, impressing onlookers with his swift footwork and gyrating hips.  Julius, on the other hand, was rumoured to have danced with as much rhythm as your average white Anglo-Saxon, which is not saying much.   

But that’s beside the point.  Instead, let us all take a moment to salute JZ, as well as his cockblocking saviour, for showing such poise in the face of utter degradation.    

And while were at it, let’s commend the two journalists that broke the story, for taking the time to turn this seemingly miniscule incident into an episode of ‘My Super Sweet Sixteen’.

[Source: The Star]