Keep your shirt on. No really, keep it on. Apparently people start undressing in the presence of TV’s nip and tuck butcher hoping he’ll dish out some advice. Thankfully this didn’t happen at the Houghton Golf Estate Saturday night where he spoke to some plastic fans. The well-mannered crowd did hang onto his lips though. Their own aching for a refill.

Dr Robert Rey is in the country to promote his new Sensual Solutions product range (available at selected Edgars stores). He took to the stage Saturday night and immediately said he couldn’t believe how pretty South African girls are. He hastened to add he’s in the perfect position to say that since he’s someone who “judges Miss Brazil, Miss USA, Miss Venezuala and a bunch of other beauty pageants”.

Thanks Doc. We sometimes can’t believe it ourselves.

The scalpel wielding professional then turned the focus to himself and explained why he’s all of a sudden into Brazilian plants and alternative medicine.

“I had an epiphany mid-career after cutting open 30, 000 women – some of them filleted like fish – I realised that this cannot be the only answer!”

You can catch the bloodthirsty psycohomeopath next at the Menlyn Shopping Centre and the V&A Waterfront. Like I said, keep your clothes on and maybe have the police on speed dial. Just in case.

[Source: timeslive]