A software glitch in the iPhone 4 has rendered its alarm useless since New Year’s Day. The latest reports indicate the glitch has not yet been fixed amid fears many iPhone fanatics are teetering on the edge of a coma. If you know someone with an iPhone 4, give them a call. They need you right now.

These things happen. Just not with an iPhone. As far as I know (I don’t own one) people buy iPhones because they were sent to earth by intelligent life far superior to us. Now their alarms won’t work. Apple said they’ll fix the glitch today but nothing happened. Looks like Apple and its users are snoozing on this one.

“It is not known what exactly has caused the problem for the iPhone, though it only seems to be affecting users who are running the iOS4 software specifically versions 4.2.1, 4.1, and 4.0.2,” said Apple spokeswoman Natalie Harrison. She also said “all alarms will work properly beginning Jan. 3″. She didn’t clarify whether Apple wants half of humanity to sleep in this time next year as well.

Hate to say it, but this is precisely what happens when you let software set your alarm for you. Software is only good at being software. It also sucks at making coffee and fetching the paper. Best is to set your internal alarm, à la Kramer, and wake up as nature intended. Just be careful not to confuse your internal alarm with your biological clock and set that thing off when you least expect it. This obviously applies to ladies only. If you’re a guy and you feel you have a biological clock ticking inside you I suggest you go see someone.

Let the rest of us use today to wake up the iPhone community. It’s the least we can do.