You also bump into things, talk loud, take swipes at lamp shades and smash your fist through tempered glass when you’re drunk? Well, it’s not because we were simply raised that way. It’s not even the liquor. It’s Drunk Gene.

Another study, another unbelievable discovery: They found a gene that makes you a messy drunk. The HTR2B gene makes you “act without foresight” when you’re drunk according to a group of scientists who, quite frankly, will be better off drunk than researching this.

Apparently they took some mice, got them hammered and observed them.

From one angle this study looks completely useless. From another it’s profound. Talk about a free ticket. Ja listen, sorry about the coffee table I wasn’t even that drunk. I’ve got this gene that makes my head fuck out.

Now if they can only find the gene that makes you lie, the cheating gene, the gene that makes me want to just lie here and drink beer for the rest of the day. Can we get someone on that gene specifically, please?