Let me preface this scribble with the following caveat: It’s not that we don’t like cyclists, or even cycling for that matter. Cycling, in all its various forms, can be fun, healthy, and is certainly a better way to spend your time than smirking behind a computer screen.

What we don’t like is seeing the pronounced, cupped, hugged, and squeezed outline of your block and tackle. What we don’t like are clip on shoes scuffing our floors. What we don’t like is sitting next to a group of people fully robed in lycra, having a great time while dripping the hard earned wages of that recently completed ride all over the floor.

And the helmets look silly when you war them without the reasonable danger of falling down at high speed, say, when you’re standing on your feet indoors.

And mirror shades?

But through all of that, I can see the benefit of cycling. My father is a keen cyclist. He tells me that the meditative quality on long rides is much like getting into that zone of thought when you’re running. Running is my personaly preferred form of exercise, so I can relate to that. i can appreciate that. And no one can argue that the Tour de France isn’t a great sporting spectacle. (Side note: how can you take steroids and have such small arms? Baffling.)

But through all of that, I can’t compromise on this point.

Cycling is terrible for humanity, and more specifically, for your semen.

We all suspected that hours on a moderately firm saddle, legs reeling up and down in what can only be described as an aggravating action, would eventually lead to some kind of testicular discomfort, at the very least.

And those in the know knew why Lance was untouchable. When push came to shove, the Yellow Man didn’t have an aching pair of boys to deal with when he needed to kick into a higher gear going up a 35 degree mountain slope.

Don’t take my word for it, check out this news report:

However, when Wise and her colleagues looked at specific types of exercise, they saw that men who said they spent at least five hours per week biking were twice as likely to have both a low sperm count and relatively poor sperm mobility.

Among men who did not get regular exercise, 23 percent had low sperm counts but so did more than 31 percent of those who biked at least five hours per week.

Nearly 40 percent of frequent bikers had low numbers of sperm with good motility, versus 27 percent of men who didn’t exercise.

Trauma or temperature increases in the scrotum may explain the relationship between biking and semen health, Wise said.

When I see the words “trauma” and “scrotum” in the same sentence, I get the heebie-jeebies.

So there you have it, guys. Donate before you saddle up, but only if you love our species.

[Source : EWN]