Stallone surprised us when he resurrected Rocky with Rocky Balboa, stunned us when he tied the red hair band on for John Rambo and nearly killed himself trying to make The Expendables. Broken neck aside… Stallone pulled it off – he made us believe… with that sixty-something-year-old-six-pack, the big knives and ultra-violent action set pieces. Personally, I blame Harrison Ford for sparking the vicious trend that 60-something-year-olds can do their own stunts as he donned the fedora and whip once again in Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in his late sixties! Let’s not forget their younger counterpart, Mr. Bruce Willis and his shaven law enforcement crime epic, Live Free or Die Hard, or Die Hard 4.0.

Willis may not be in his 60s, but he’s rapidly approaching the can-only-play-retired-cops-dads-and-firemen age. The Hollywood retirement plan may not be as strict as that of the modeling world, but if you’re best remembered for action… then you’ve got to milk it before it dries and shrivels up. We’re not talking about prostate examinations, but RED – Bruce’s latest venture (or adventure). This is his way of admitting that he’s not getting any younger… but shows that he’s still got that cheeky twinkle in the eye. One thing’s for sure… the old dog’s still alive with a couple of tricks in the tank.

“I’m NOT Sgt. Pepper and these are not… I say NOT my Eggmen.”

RED, stands for Retired: Extremely Dangerous and was adapted for screen from the graphic novel. The story follows Frank Moses (Willis) whose retirement plan is interrupted by a high-tech assassination plot. Moses rescues a love interest (Parker) and takes her under his wing (think Schwarzenegger and Williams in Eraser) as he reassembles his old black-ops team to fight back, take revenge and survive retirement. It’s basically what The A-Team film adaptation would have been like if George Peppard was still alive and they had hired the original “crack squad” of actors.

Now it’s not that difficult to look alive when your co-stars include: Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren… come on, they’re already playing old politicians and professors!?! Okay, they do represent the cream of Hollywood’s acting elite with regular dramatic nominations and lead roles. However, RED is more The Expendables than Grumpier Old Men with machine guns. These Hollywood heavyweights are having a bit of tongue-in-cheek fun and showing that they’ve still got what it takes. If Bruce Willis weren’t there for action credibility, RED would be a tad flaccid… giving him the responsibility of team leader, primary star – let’s just call him Colonel Viagra.

Willis gives RED some serious backbone with his blood sports fisticuffs, especially when matched against the younger, just as virile Karl Urban. He overshadows the rest of the ensemble when it comes to dive rolls and shoot outs – making the implausible less implausible. The Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren factor provides a more comic aspect, packing more of a punch with their star power than their stunts or bravado. In this department, it’s actually John Malkovich that steals the show. He’s obviously tapped into his role from Burn After Reading, taking a crazed ex-operative underground and giving himself permission to go over-the-top as a stop-gap for Murdock in this geriatric A-Team. Malkovich isn’t afraid to reach for the laughs with his Larry David clown hairstyle and seems to harness the coolest lines and gags.

“STOP, or this grandma will shoot!”

Morgan Freeman would probably be the B.A. Baracus of the team, but he’s severely under-utilised. His part is a little bit tame for this kind of film and it’s like he’s still trying to shake the Madiba out of his system. Helen Mirren is a gorgeous woman, almost putting herself up there as the poster girl for the term GILF, but she’s just a bit too girly to be taken seriously with any high-tech weaponry. The effect is cute, rather than militaristic and she enters the game quite late as a substitute for that pretty “Faceman” boy. The cast is rounded off by a debauched-looking Richard Dreyfuss, the fresh-faced Mary-Louise Parker of Weeds and West Wing, who seems a little out of her depth (who wouldn’t?) and Brian Cox.

RED is whole lot of fun, delving into lightweight action comedy with a heavyweight cast and heavy duty weaponry, serving up a good couple of funny moments. The bloated ensemble is a little bit difficult for Flightplan director, Robert Schwentke to wield and find a snug fit for maximum chemistry, but for the most part it works! Fans of any of the actors will get a chance to see them trying something uncharacteristic, something new and different. Helen Mirren is rarely ever at the end of a big-ass gatling gun, Morgan Freeman and straight action don’t compute and when has John Malkovich ever been cast as a jester instead of a King?

The A-Team revival has been doing the rounds of late with tongue-in-cheek actioners like you guessed it… The A-Team and The Losers hitting the spot. The movie-going public is obviously after a bit of light, cheesy escapist fare and RED is just the answer if you’re looking for some good old-fashioned popcorn entertainment with your favourite movie stars. This one is a little more subtle than your average Rush Hour or Lethal Weapon sequel, so don’t expect it to blow you away and you’ll have a good time. Although it’s worth saying again… Malkovich is the life of this party, and yes the fire brigade have been put on standby.

The bottom line: Gung-ho.

Watch ‘RED’ Trailer

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