With the help of modern technology, I was able to jet into the future and conduct an interview with SA celebrities, Jeannie D and Loyiso! This interview should only be for publication in 2050, but I thought I would give you a taste anyway! And my goodness, have things changed around here! It seems Jeannie D eventually retired from Top Billing and is settling into retirement at the Gardens Beachfront. Loyiso gets a digital hip replacement and takes a trip down memory lane with his vintage DVD collection.

First up..

Jeannie D

Jeannie D – circa 2050

1.       Thank you for having me, Jeannie. It’s nice to interview flesh and blood, once in a while. Holograms never feel the same. How was your trip to Jo’Toria? Did you manage to see any trees this time around?

– It’s a pleasure, and to be honest i can only do the hologram thingie when my grandchildren are around to show me how it works. Anyway, Jo’To was the same, busy and smoky and no sea. Us Capetonians hate to leave our lovely island, even if Jo’To is only a 20 minute trip on the Sub-Orbital! I did manage to see some jacarandas though, which was actually the reason I went up. Shame, the only place you can see them these days in Jo’To is under the SA Eden Project Dome.

2.       Be honest, who’s the more eligible bachelor: Seth Rotherham, Minister of Digital Media Regulation in the Malema Presidency, or Gareth Cliff, political commentator?

– Seth I can’t believe someone hasn’t snapped you up yet! Well, Gareth is too high-brow for me these days. And he’s not really the outdoor type as I recall. I don’t think he could show me as good a time around the Cape islands. So I vote Seth!

3.       You left Top Billing just before they started lifecasting the presenters 24/7 in the ’30s, (right after I bought it, if I remember correctly). Any regrets there? Looking back I’m not sure Janez ever really coped without you (and his low gravity sickness really became a problem with being live all the time).

– I think I left at the right time – although I have very fond memories. I loved working but there was a lot I wanted to do and see in retirement. So I kept to my vision of retiring at sixty, which is rather early these days. I’m still busy though, particularly with my charity, the UK Refugee Programme. Those poor UK kids come from such dire circumstances back home. And of course it gave me more time for my hobbies, my kids and grandkids.

4.       We’re both Capetonians. Why did you settle for the Gardens Beachfront? Camps Bay is still where it’s at, even if it is a little higher up, surely?

– Back in the early ’10s I would have chosen Camps Bay, or the “Radlantic”, as you call it. But with the rise of the sea level everything is just too ‘up the mountain’ for me. It’s a lot like the old Clifton, and a little claustrophobic. I just love watching the waves crash on District 6 beachfront from my bedroom window, and you can’t beat the proximity to the V&A for convenience. So clever of them to turn it into a submerged mall, hey? It’s very pretty looking at the fish while I try on Jimmy Choos. The grand kids are absolutely mental about the place.

Follow the link for the rest of the interview!

5.       Uh huh. I couldn’t help but notice your lovely smile just then. Nice teeth, they new? Not sure if you noticed but I got my RayBans incorporated into the actual skeletal structure of my face, and then networked, of course. Are you more of a networked contacts kind of gal?

– I’m not into the full reconstructive surgery thing, I’m happy to age as I do, give or take a little regeneration therapy and Glotox treatment…Though give me a few years and I may change my mind! I like the contacts because they give me the freedom to ‘disconnect’ whenever I want, maybe read some actual books, and it’s less clearing work for my data therapist. For someone like you it must be perfect though? You’re still a techno junkie at heart.

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Loyiso

Loyiso – circa 2050

1.       Uh, nice place. Quite minimalist, though. Are you a disciple of the Tech Rejectionists?

– I’m as much of a disciple of the Tech Rejectionists as I am a slave to the Tech Can’taffordits [laughs]. No, I do like to keep it simple. With carbon taxes so high and the cost of greenifying your house through the roof I think it’s better for my wallet if I stick to the minimum.

2.       Nice suit, nonetheless. Very retro. Did life start at seventy, as the saying goes?

– You should know, good style never goes out of fashion. And have you seen the price of a new suit lately? I could take a trip to the moon for that price! My son’s wife has altered a lot of my old suits from the ’10s. So I come back into fashion every decade or so.

3.       We haven’t seen much of you in the public eye since the tour with Lourdes Leon, which failed to completely sell out, if I remember correctly. Sorry about the harsh review. How are those pipes of yours?

– The timing was really bad, Madonna was doing her 60^th world tour, with five gigs around South Africa and three in Zimozambique. It wasn’t the best time to stage a comeback at my age, and Lourdes really doesn’t have her moms moves. You know she still hasn’t spoken to her after that fiasco? I didn’t do another after that, but looking back I should have.

4.       I see you have an extensive collection of DVDs. I haven’t seen those since Apple won the elections in the forties. Is collecting vintage media a little guilty pleasure?

– Yes, I just finished my Die Hard DVD collection. It’s incredible! Nothing like using vintage DVDs to bring back the memories. It is a little hobby of mine, plus it’s surprisingly cheap. The youth of today don’t appreciate such artistry.

5.       I hear you. You have a dodgy hip. Can you afford a custom-generated replacement? I got mine updated last week. You want my old one?

– [Laughs] Thanks, I would but I don’t think it’d fit. Plus, second hand hips are normally more of a problem. You know it’s actually a bit of a touchy subject for me – the government clinics have been giving me the run-around. But I should have a new one soon, and then I can challenge you to a good old digital dance-off.

6.       It’s on. You’ve been in the entertainment biz for over fifty years. Don’t you think it’s time to unplug the mic and be entertained?

– I’d love to! I’m still very passionate about the industry, so I’d love it if it could just entertain me for a while. But giving it up just isn’t an option right now. A few bad choices as a youngster meant that my retirement plans haven’t exactly panned out as I’d hoped. I don’t mind it that much though, writing manufactured advertising jingles and formulaic teenage pop songs can be a creative outlet at times.

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Follow Jeannie D and Loyiso’s day-to-day activities in the city of Jo’toria and on the island of Cape Town on Facebook at www.saveyourfuture.co.za and follow Jeannie D www.twitter.com/futurejeannied and Loyiso on Twitter at www.twitter.com/futureloyiso