Justin Bieber, 35, is bleak. Very bleak. He used to live a quiet life in his hometown of  Jacksonville, Florida. He liked nothing better than playing pinball in his basement with his friends. Then, one day, something horrible happened.

Oh, the humanity!

Now our man spends his days (and nights) sorting his own mail from the reams of fan mail he gets every day or fielding hundreds of calls from people who are coming down with a bad case of the Bieber Fever*.

He has been kicked off Facebook and iTunes Ping for having a fake celebrity account and has had several phone calls from famous musicians looking to collaborate with the voice of a generation teenager.

“Artists saying, ‘I am going to be working with you this weekend.’ I say, ‘no, you’re not, you don’t want to sing with me'”

Which does beg the question: why is he not running with this? Why has he not told Ludacris that he will only work with him from now on if they sing exclusively in Shyriiwook.

I’m just saying that in their lifetime the average male gets mistaken for Justin Bieber once, maybe twice, tops. You have to take every opportunity that life sends your way, Biebs.

*[IMPORTANT NOTICE: You would be forgiven for thinking that Bieber Fever has taken hold here at 2oceansvibe, given the sheer volume of Bieber related posts in recent times. We are so very sorry. We would like to take this moment to assure you that you can go in to the weekend, safe in the knowledge that unless something truly exceptional happens, like our mop-haired Canadian nemesis wakes up on the business end of a meth binge and gets caught trying to smuggle a dead stripper across the border into Mexico, this will be the last mention of Bieber for the month.]

[Source: Fox News]