The Advertising Standards Authority has taken the controversial stance that Cell C, when referring to their latest network upgrade as their “4G^s Network”, might mislead consumers into thinking that Cell C is actually, you know, offering a 4G network.

Not so, says Cell C, who are adamant that the public will pick up on the fact that it stands for “For Great Speed, For Great Service”.

Cell C’s CEO Lars Reichelt goes as far as to say: “We will appeal the ruling because we believe that this amounts to corporate bullying,” after which we assume that he stuck his fingers in his ears and yelled “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”.

The question now is, if Cell C are convinced that they weren’t trying to be, as Vocacom describes it, “both confusing and misleading”, are they just genuinely misunderstanding the definition of 4G, which is generally accepted to run at a minimum of 14 times faster than Cell C’s “significant and remarkable” 4G^s vibe?

Listen Lars, buddy, I understand that technology is a confusing animal, I really do. 20 minutes ago I didn’t really understand the difference between 3G and 4G either. Then I went to the Google and typed in “what is the difference between 3G and 4G” and now I know.

Has no one at Cell C thought of doing this? Your insistence that it stands for “For Great Speed, For Great Service” concerns me.