Hilts – chilling at the airport..

Paris Hilton Barred From Entering Japan – Following her recent guilty plea for cocaine possession (this, after being caught allegedly smoking pot in South Africa), Paris Hilton has been barred from entering Japan. She flew the whole way there and spent a few hours in the airport learning about their vibe when it comes to drugs and criminal records. Then she got back on the plane, turned around, and went home. Shame, my babba. [washpost]

Swaziland Minister Caught Making Love To The King’s Wife – Swaziland’s King Mswati was this week mulling what to do next with justice minister Ndumiso Mamba, who was caught red-handed last week sleeping with one of the king’s wives. Mamba was this week handed a written letter of resignation and told to sign it, sources reveal. The spin will then be that he resigned, whereas in fact he was fired. But just WAIT till you see where he was hiding when he got caught! [citypress]

UK Worst Place To Live In Europe – Not really the report that our ex-pats want to see, but it certainly won’t come as a surprise. A respected ‘quality of life index’ has released its most recent figures, which reveals the Brits pay more for petrol, food, booze and cigarettes, have fewer holidays, the least amount of sunshine. And, just to top it off, the life expectancy is one of the lowest. Which kind of makes sense, I guess. [thesun]

Top Gear Should Choose Next Stig With X-Factor Style, Says Ben Collins – Collins, who worked as the programme’s anonymous helmeted stuntman for seven years, says the show would be “childish” to rule out having another Stig in the next series just because his identity has been revealed. The driver, 35, said: “What the powers that be decide to do, they will do, but at the moment they are behaving in a childish way to just throw the baby out with the bathwater. [telegraph]

Dave Beckham Denies $10,000 A Night Hooker – I’m sure Dave would be next, anyway, right? Whether it’s true or not – he’s kind of due. In Touch Weekly claims to have the story of how Beckham cheated on his wife with a ‘$10,000-a-night hooker’ (see Tiger Woods, Life of: for details), which included a threesome and other debauchery. Call girl Irma Nici claims to have bent it with Beckham five times in 2007. [outofbounds]

17 Year Old Australian Caused All That Twitter Chaos – A 17-year-old Australian schoolboy said on Wednesday he unwittingly caused a massive hacker attack on Twitter which sent users to Japanese porn sites and took out the White House press secretary’s feed. Pearce Delphin, whose Twitter name is @zzap, admitted exposing a security flaw which was then pounced upon by hackers, affecting thousands of users and causing havoc on the microblogging site for about five hours. [associated]

John Gotti Junior Breaks ‘Omerta’ – Making Movie Of His Life – If watching “Deadlock Don” John Gotti Jr. gracefully maneuver his way to four hung juries over the last five years was as entertaining for you as it was for us, then you’ll be happy to learn that Gotti has sold his life rights to Hollywood. The son of the Gambino crime family leader has agreed to a deal with the independent production company Fiore Films to make a film about his life. [gothamist]

British Intelligence Agency Used Semen As Invisible Ink – A new book reveals that a member of MI6, the British spy agency, discovered during WWI that semen makes excellent invisible ink, and often deployed it in the field. The name of the man who discovered this? Mansfield Cumming. I know – quite amazing. Although I’m not too surprise – life does toss you all sorts of things the whole time! [gawker]

North Korea: The Hermit Emerges – The world’s most secretive state faces turmoil if Kim Jong-il hands over control to his son. Will it spiral out of control, or could Chinese-style capitalism save it? I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow? You are clearly forgetting that Our Dear Leader was born under a double rainbow and that a new star appeared in the sky. At the same time. Tell me you haven’t forgotten that moment? How then could there ever be a problem? [telegraph]

Wyclef Jean Finally Calls It A Day – Wyclef Jean officially dropped his Haitian presidential bid Tuesday but pledged to stay active in Haitian politics. “After weeks of quiet but painstaking reflection with my wife and daughter, I have chosen to end my bid for the presidency of Haiti,” he said in a statement. “Some battles are best fought off the field, and that is where we take this now.” [csmonitor]

“Using Android Is Like Peeing Your Pants For Warmth” – Anssi Vanjoki, outgoing head of Nokia’s smartphone division, likens mobile phone makers that adopt Google’s software to Finnish boys who“pee in their pants” for warmth in the winter. Temporary relief is followed by an even worse predicament.It is the big question facing Nokia: should the company give up on its own software and put Google’s Android operating system on its phones instead? [financialtimes]

You Need To Have A Squizz At Regretsy – A hit book in America, subtitled “where DIY meets WTF”, this blog compiles all the weird, freakish, tacky and disturbing homemade rubbish you may stumble across on crafting sites such as etsy.com or in the more obscure corners of eBay. Last week the author focused on projects that act as tributes to 9/11, from September 11 flipbooks to novelty glasses to commemorative flick-knives; if you were looking for a gift for pastor Terry Jones, this is the place. [guardian / regretsy]

[thanks dad, henk, nicole, swazi]