…And has decided that it can’t shoulder all of the responsibility for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, an ecological disaster of biblical proportions.

In fact, BP have scrutinised the situation so finely that they’ve come to the conclusion that they can’t bear much of the blame for the mass rape of North America’s Gulf at all.

Look, I’m going to be honest with you, the Gulf can be quite temperamental at times. I think I can see where the BP guys are coming from.

And to be fair, Mother Nature was doing almost all of the oil-gushing herself following the spontaneous combustion of the well-head.

The four-month probe, led by BP’s head of safety and operations, Mark Bly, is viewed as key to how the firm plans to defend itself in legal proceedings involving the spill.

Oh right, so the “report” was facilitated by the guy who is most likely to lose his firstborn child job over this little woopsie.

Meanwhile, critics of the BP’s report have apportioned all of the blame to BP, accusing the oil giants of sacrificing safety to improve profit margin.

“Of their own eight key findings, they only explicitly take responsibility for half of one. BP is happy to slice up blame, as long as they get the smallest piece.”

So when will the secretly-recorded and utterly indefensible audio tapes of BP board meetings be released?

[Source : M&G]