US news wires were buzzing this morning with news that a hostage situation was unfolding at the Discovery Channel headquarters in Montgomery County, USA.

This, from the Associated Press:

James Lee, 43, a gunman with what police described as “concerns” with the Discovery Channel networks took at least one person hostage in the company’s Silver Spring, Md., headquarters Wednesday, Spet. 1, 2010. A law enforcement official speaking on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing said authorities have identified Lee as the likely suspect.

He had “concerns” with the programming? Really? Well I don’t blame you, guy. Those running loops of fish scratching themselves on coral reefs in between episodes of Mythbusters really got on my nuts.

Herewith is an excerpt from James Lee’s manifesto, which he published online hours before his death:

“Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution.”

“All programs on Discovery Health – TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.”

“Saving the Planet means saving what’s left of the non-human Wildlife by decreasing the Human population. That means stopping the human race from breeding any more disgusting human babies!”

“The humans? The planet does not need humans.”

Well, it’s a good thing he wasn’t a radical, right? Radicals make dinner conversation so damned awkward.

Sadly, police killed the man, who had fired a number of shots and threatened the lives of numerous people, apparently in line with his manifesto. Unconfirmed reports also indicate that he was or had claimed to be carrying explosives.

In an ironic twist of fate, the police got all Discovery on his ass when they took him down.

And you can be sure that the Discovery Channel will set this up as a two hour exclusive to be flighted early next month during prime time.

In your quest for better programming, you died, but ensured better programming in the process. Also, there’s one less human on the planet, which I suppose must have provided a little comfort in those final moments. I believe we call that “tragic heroism” on Upper Campus.

Bill Shakespeare would eat that up.