Singapore – Doesn’t suck

We’re already living in a global village. So the idea of national borders is becoming increasingly strained.

Gallup has released data describing where in this big village respondents would re-locate if exorbitant costs (i.e. Visas and travel fees) and international borders weren’t part of the process.

“Sulplise!” Most people said they’d like to move to Singapore. But when you’ve got vibes like this going on, it makes an easy sell.

But what follows is an eclectic mix of destinations, which does more to prove that beauty is in the eye of the beholder than prove certain countries are more or less desirable.

I mean, hell, New Freaking Zealand is near the top of the list. New Zealand. You know? Land of the Long White Cloud? The country where everyone ends every sentence with a question mark? Kill me, oh please just kill me now?

Which might actually be the wish of most people planning to relocate to Saudi Arabia, which came in third on the list. Well that’s all fine and well, just make sure you don’t ever screw up criminally in old Sauds. They rather enjoy separating people’s spinal columns there.

But Canada is also part of the global attraction A team. And as far as we can tell, it’s so painfully precise and organised that Mowbray makes it onto Canada’s books as a registered genocide field. Look, we know Groote Schuur is in Mowbray, but genocide is getting a bit carried away.

And let’s not forget universally-popular Switzerland. Where you get everything for free, and you’ll be filled with self-loathing forever and always, surrounded by beautiful, vital, fulfilled people. Yep, it’s true. Switzerland has the highest rate of plastic surgery per capita in the world. Go ahead. Move there. I dare you to compare with the lithe Vikings.

Of course, Australia also makes an appearance at the top of the list of countries likely to gain the greatest number of immigrants. May I just say at this juncture that running away from your problems will not fix them.

Mercifully, our beloved Mzansi is on the right side of the immigration/emigration index. We’re one spot behind Germany with a hypothetical projected population increase of 14%.