There are only a handful of genuii (first-person masculine plural) who can pull off classified ads that rival that classic Australian BMX ad we featured back in Feb oh niner. A lot of peeps out there try their best but they just don’t get you in the same way – they’re trying too hard. Unlike this genius right here who completely owned this ad, selling his 2001 Ford Taurus.

This is how the ad went:

Sweet Ass 2001 Ford Taurus – $2100

Holy crap! What kind of badassary is this?! A 2001 Black Ford Taurus! Get the hell out of here! This car is a god amongst other, smaller cars. It eats dead dinosaur to power its black dinosaur hating heart! IT FUCKING EATS DEAD DINOSAURS!

Ever seen that scene in movies where theres a badass explosion in the background and someones walking away from without even looking back. You know where they got the idea. yeah thats right. This fucking car walks away from explosions and doesnt even look back. Its lost plenty a pair of Gigantic sunglasses doing this so it just lets his best friend Samuel L Jackson dramatize it from now on.

This is what life is like if you dont buy this car

Look at this pathetic punkass. Not a lady in site. Im sure he hasnt been laid since Clinton was in office (everyone was getting laid then. awwwwwwwww yeah)

Now look what happens when you buy the car..

[warning: Foul, yet downright hilarious language after the jump]

BAM SON! This car will get you so many girls. Not weak ass girls. Strong ones. To open jars and shit. All this for only $2100! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!

Look at that sweet ass lens flare. Its like im watching Star Trek. FUUUUUUCK!!

And this motherfucker comes equipped with an ipod cassete thing. So you can blast Tegan and Sara for fucking Dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh shit! What the fuck?! Is that a lego batman Hanging off the rear view? and it comes with the fucking car?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

So your probably like, “Dude why would you sell such an awesome ass car”
WELL ILL TELL YOU WHY YOU NOSY ASS!!
Im moving to Hawaii at the end of August. Thats right. Fucking Hawaii. Beaches and shit.
And those Coconut Drinks dont come cheap you know. They probably have like a small umbrella tax or something. I dunno. I dont live there yet.
If you wanna test drive the shit out of this and maybe grab some Taco Bell while we are at it.
Text me at (510)331-7089.

God, that was awesome! What a ride…

The ad, not the car..

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