The North Korean football team, along with it’s entire complement of staff, were recently subjected to a “grand debate”, to discuss the tender matter of their ideological betrayal of their nation.

The players were hoofed up on stage, and the big daddys spanked them for about six hours.

I was actually there at the time. Kim invited Seth to award a few coal mining scholarships to toddlers with promising-looking hands, but he was unavailable, so I stepped into the breach.

I didn’t actually realise that this particular part of the programme was coordinated mass humiliation, though.

The players were subjected to a “grand debate” on July 2 because they failed in their “ideological struggle” to succeed in South Africa, Radio Free Asia and South Korean media reported.

The team’s coach, Kim Jong-hun, was reportedly forced to become a builder and has been expelled from the Workers’ Party of Korea.

The coach was punished for “betraying” Kim Jong-un – one of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il’s sons and heir apparent.

The country, in its first World Cup since 1966, lost all three group games – including a 7-0 defeat to Portugal.

The broadcast of live games had been banned to avoid national embarrassment, but after the spirited 2-1 defeat to Brazil, state television made the Portugal game its first live sports broadcast ever.

Sure, I didn’t know what was going on, but now that I do, I say, “Good on ya, Kim Jong-un!” Little Dear (as we like to call him) is right on the money there.

I would say the DPRK’s venture to the World Cup was an abject failure on the ideology front. Not a single one of my friends has converted to communism. And as far as I know, Seth is still paying me. I mean, the fact that he pays me in chicken bones and cigarette burns is besides the point, I’m still earning an honest salary, which I’m free to invest if I like. And that’s capitalism.

And consider the side’s 7-0 loss to Korea. I didn’t see a single North Korean player approach any one of the Portuguese players or staff with the Workers Party manifesto. Did you? How will the world know the great treasures of the North Korean way of life if no one’s telling anyone else about it?

Think about THAT while you’re acting out “exhaustion”, Mr Coach Betrayer Man.

[Source : Telegraph]