So, some of you may have noticed, some of you not, that the sixth South African season of the least-successfully exported show of all time, Idols, has crawled it’s tawdry way on to our television screens.

You have to give it to the Idols producers. They must be rimming someone with a corner office at Mnet, because season five was a cock-up of cosmic proportions.

Not only was the show as remarkable as the colour grey, but Alexander Forbes managed to bugger up the vote count, despite pegging counting as their area of expertise, and “judge” Dave Thompson emigrated the day after the finale – evidently in shame.

So you’d expect the bigwigs at Mnet to demand a resignation, or the mother of all comeback plans, right? Here’s what they got:

The new season of Idols gets going with four 90 minute audition episodes in which the country’s best, worst, and downright craziest singers queue at venues around the country to impress the show’s notorious high-profile judges: Mara Louw, Randall Abrahams and Gareth Cliff. These episodes première on M-Net on Sundays at 17:30, but can also be seen on MagicWorld on Mondays at 16:30 and on M-Net Series on Saturdays at 11:00.

To add spice – and an extra pair of trained ears – to the auditions, the judges are joined by a new celebrity guest judge in each audition city: Kahn from The Parlotones, HHP, Loyiso Bala, Zolani from FreshlyGround and Steve Hofmeyr!

OK, so the show is minus the only moderately credible judge it had, with the addition of Kahn “Don’t Judge Me” Morbee and Steve “Die Pompmasjien” Hofmeyr?

Perhaps it would be better they hired these pigeons to do the judging job.

Kings of Leon have been forced to cancel a gig after pigeons showered them with excrement.

The band walked off the stage at the Verizon Wireless Ampitheater, in St Louis, MO, after three songs because of birds in the building’s rafters.

Drummer Nathan Followill tweeted: “So sorry St Louis. We had to bail, pigeons s****ing in Jared’s mouth and it was too unsanitary to continue. FULL REFUNDS 4 ALL. SO SORRY. Don’t take it out on Jared, it’s the f***ing venue’s fault. You may enjoy being s**t on but we don’t. Sorry for all who travelled many miles.”

I’d totally watch that show. Nice big pigeon dump in your eye for foul singing. Also, they might produce comparatively constructive criticism, as opposed to the usual mix of drool, valium shrieks and suppressed homo-erotic rage we’re used to.

Oh, and Randall, you still owe Seth a fight.

[Source : Monsters&Critics]