The Expendables will be the manliest movie you will ever watch in your whole life. Warning: Effeminate viewers may suffer death.

Written and directed by the star of the film, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables promises pretty much the same kind of action as Rambo 4, except this time there’s more than one guy with huge pecks, and huge guns.

They’ve also got big firearms.

Hell, I reckon the combined weight of these guys’ pectoral muscles tips the scale on the biomass of 2oceansvibe Media.

I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty certain a thick fog of testosterone descended on the set during filming.

It killed all green plants and mimes within a one mile radius (that’s right, MILE, because miles are manlier than kilometres).

Don’t believe me? Well for a start, one of the bulky superstars, and all-round ass-kicker extraordinaire, Stone Cold Steve Austin, broke Stallone’s neck on set. Probably just for the hell of it, too.

Still don’t believe me that it’ll be the manliest movie ever made?

Check this out.

We’ve got this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

Plus Dolph, who South African audiences will know, always wins his “poker gamesh”.

That’s right. Couture, Statham, Austin, Crews, Rourke, Li, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Lundgren, all in one movie. Oh yeah, Bruce Willis pops in to say hi.

They don’t even need a plot for this thing. Gimme, benchpresses, fists to faces, fists to fighter jets, fire explosions, pants explosions, gnashing of teeth, screaming, group showers, a devious sub plot involving a hot woman, Russians! It’s all there! Just microwave that crap til hot and slap it on a plate – I’ll rub it all over my body.

Geez.

I could have got a little carried away there.

Let’s make a promise. Let’s all dress up in camo when it comes out in mid-August?

[Source : Wiki; News24]

[Thanks, Commander Fergus]