The Hef “Hugh” Hefner, as we like to call him, has lured an equity company to bed, and together they plan on buying out all of Playboy Enterprises remaining company shares in a bid to make things a little more private.

Apparently he’s not interested in selling his shares, or merging with other shareholders. But then, why would he? He has a mansion and a harem of blond c-cups to merge with on a daily basis.

It [Playboy Enterprises] said Hefner wanted to retain full control of Playboy out of concern for the brand, the editorial direction of the magazine and “(Playboy’s) legacy.”

He’s concerned with the editorial direction? Sheesh, Hef, you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble if you hired people who couldn’t figure our the editorial direction of Playboy. Can you imagine the board room, Hef standing on the table in his robe, looking exasperated, kicking whiskey tumblers around?

He’d probably say something like, “Look, it’s real simple. You take Rolling Stone, right, and you put a lot of naked people in the middle, okay?”

But the legacy bit might be a bit tricky. I mean, when you’ve dedicated almost 60 years to tits and ass, you might forgive people for thinking that’s all you stood for once you pop off.