Independent Newspapers [IOL, Cape Times etc] is known for its occasionally obtuse and ambiguous headlines.

For example, when more boring news groups might report “TWO MEN ARRESTED IN DRUG BUST”, Independent would probably phrase it thus:

“WITNESS FINGERS DRUG LORDS – TWO ARRESTED”

Shockingly enough, what I’m about to show you did NOT, I repeat, did NOT emanate from any Independent Newspapers publication, but straight from Reuters.

Are you ready? Sit down for this.

TIRED GAY SUCCUMBS TO DIX IN 200 METERS.

HOLY PANTS. That’s mind blowing. That’s not an athletics story, that’s a homosexual gang rape story. Maybe at Virgin Active. I mean, you’ve got a gay guy, minding his own business, and wham – next thing he knows he’s getting chased through Gardens in an unsuccessful bid to escape from a gang of rapists/Olympic sprinters. Surely?

But I don’t think this headline was a mistake. Someone at Reuters Online is having a GREAT time, if you know what I mean. Check out some of these quotes in the story.

“It wasn’t bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end,” Gay said. “I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn’t enough.”

“I was a little sloppy out of the blocks, but I was able to hold on,” he added. “Tyson gave me great competition.”

And,

“I didn’t get a great start but I brought it home,” Oliver said.

Click here for the whole bang story.

[Thank YOU, Jonty]