Famke Janssen Takes On Penelope Cruz In The 2010 World Cup Final – We said goodbye to Germany last night as they were conquered by The Red Fury in Durban. They will have to work harder on their Vorsprung Durch technique before the next World Cup. And so it’s Spain (Penelope Cruz) vs. The Netherlands (Famke Janssen) in the final on Sunday at 20h30, live from Soccer City, Johannesburg! Don’t know about you, but I’ll be at the Cape Royale Sky Bar! Killing it! [bloomberg]

Nicolas Sarkozy In The Middle Of Secret Funding Probe – If it wasn’t enough living with the fact that he took sloppy seconds from Mick Jagger (and Eric Clapton), the French President is now the target of an investigation into allegations that his election campaign was secretly funded by the country’s richest woman (L’Oreal heiress Liliane Bettencourt). Sarkozy reckons France has bigger problems. At just over five foot, he’s probably right. [google]

Local Traffic Cop Caught Doing 274km/h – A traffic officer from Louis Trichardt was arrested after he drove at more than twice the speed limit in his personal Mercedes-Benz over the weekend. Joe Munyai was nabbed near Bandelierkop on the N1 on Saturday morning after he allegedly clocked 274km/h in his Mercedes-Benz C200 Kompressor. This part of the N1 has only single traffic lanes and the speed limit is 120km/h. Twat. [koos]

Mel Gibson Reckons His Ex “Deserved” The Beating She Got – It looks like Mel has admitted beating his ex. New tapes that have surfaced reveal “What kind of a man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face? What kind of a man is that?” Oksana reportedly cries on tape. Mel’s response: “You know what? You fucking deserved it.” Charming. I wonder if E-TV will stop reruns of Lethal Weapon after this. [huffpo]

Netherlands Porn Star Promises Oral Sex To Twitter Followers If They Win – In a year already featuring odd World Cup promises, porn star Bobbi Eden appears to have outdone her competitors. The Dutch erotic actress wrote on Twitter that she “will give a BJ to all my followers” if the Netherlands wins the soccer tournament this weekend. With 23,000 Twitter followers, I think I know a little girl who’s gonna be very busy! [huffers]

“Traditional Media” Takes Another Knock – The revelation last week that some Cape Town journalists had been in the pockets of politicians is disconcerting because it involves the very people society has entrusted with the role of watchdog against corruption. Surely that can’t be? I mean, I thought that trained journalists automatically had such high levels of “ethics” and “integrity?” Oh my God, the dream is ruined! [timeslive]

Lindsay Lohan’s Fingernails Said “Fuck U” In Court – I know, this is just quite remarkable. I mean why would you tempt fate by even considering the idea of writing the words “Fuck U” on your fingernail, before going to court? It turns out karma played a role that day, as LiLo was sentenced to 90 days in jail. What a knob-end! Are you confused? Just click the link, honey. [ktla]

Manson Family Member Denied Parole – Leslie Van Houten, onetime Manson family member, was sentenced to life in prison for her part in the infamous and brutal LaBianca murders. Van Houten, who is now 60 years old, appeared before a California parole board for the 19th time on Tuesday to plead her case. Any hopes for parole were short lived, however, as the board found that Van Houten “still poses a risk to society.” [associated]

One Third Of Women Aged 18-34 Check Facebook Before Showering – Young women are becoming more and more dependent on social media and checking on their social networks, according to a new study released earlier today by Oxygen Media and Lightspeed Research. In fact, as many as one-third of women aged 18-34 check Facebook when they first wake up, even before they get to the bathroom. Steady-on, girls.. [mashable]

74% Of 2oceansvibe Readers Have a Degree/Diploma – On the subject of statistics, I thought I would divulge some fresh demographics data I received from Nielsen, following a recent 2oceansvibe study. Pretty interesting stuff! Furthermore, it seems 70% of you earn over R20,000 a month, 60% are business owners/professionals/management and 50% of you are aged 24-34! Good for you, you little LSM 12-14’s! [consumerscope]

Rare Hendrix Bootlegs And Demos Go Digital – The past year has seen the release of Jimi Hendrix’s rarity collection Valleys of Neptune and the guitar god’s long-awaited arrival on Rock Band. Now Experience Hendrix has announced 11 bootleg concert recordings and studio instrumental compilations previously issued on Dagger Records are available as digital downloads for the first time. [rollingstone]

Everyone’s Favourite “TaxiJam” Up For Men’s Health Award – Everybody’s favourite local music video website, TaxiJam (they’ve done everyone from Just Jinjer and The Dirty Skirts, to Die Antwoord and Jack Parow), are up for the “Artist” award! Come on 2oceansvibe, this is very much a part of “The Vibe” and we need to lend our support! Follow the link and give them a quick vote! Let’s keep the magic alive! [menshealth]

Catholic Priest Stole $1m And Spent It On Male Escorts – The “word of the Lord” certainly does take a knock when these priests continue getting caught for things like this. I mean why exactly would a man of God steal in the first place? And then spend that money on rent boys? When you should really be focussing on the scriptures..surely? Similar to those cyclists who cycle through red traffic lights – it’s those guys that ruin it for the rest of them and give the sport a bad name. [nydailynews]

Owners Of NoMU Looking For Decent Oven Brand – Well I nearly fell over backwards when I read a recent article on one of our premium sponsor’s blogs. It seems the owners of NoMU foods, Paul and Tracy, have created an opening for a premium oven brand to be showcased in their home! What an opportunity! Especially with the amount of entertainment these guys do! Oh, and did I mention that their newsletter (to 12,000 people) gets photographed there as well? Spread the word! [nomu]

[thanks henk].