Anna Chapman – The spy who loved you

Extremely Hot Russian Spy Joined Mile-High Club – Finally we get the confirmation that we were waiting for. According to her ex-husband, Anna Chapman, the extremely hot Russian spy who surfaced in New York, was incredible in bed. This latest top-secret intelligence also confirms that she joined the mile-high club en route to Moscow once. Yip, apparently so. Oh, did I mention the whips and nipple clamps? [nydailynews+bonusphoto]

Experiencing Interrupted Internet? – Yesterday was a messy day for SA internet as online surfers everywhere experienced the digital version of road rage. What was the problem, you ask? Oh no, it’s just the “Seacom” cable. Apparently service between Mumbai and Mombasa was “interrupted.” What do you mean, like in mid-conversation? Please can we not interrupt Seacom while she is talking. Thanks. [koosbekker]

Brazilian Soccer Captain May Have Murdered His Girlfriend – Bruno Fernandes das Dores de Souza, also 25, is the captain and goal-keeper of the Rio de Janeiro team Flamengo – the country’s most popular soccer club and the current national champions. In 2009, he had an affair with Eliza Samudio, a student from São Paulo, who got pregnant and, before her disappearance, was fighting to prove Bruno’s paternity of her baby son, who she called Bruninho (Little Bruno). Hmm…spicy.. [dailybeast]

Queen Elizabeth Visits New York City Today – Start spreading the news, she’s leaving today. She wants to be a part of it, New York, New York. The Queen wants to wake up in that city that doesn’t sleep, and find she’s queen of the hill, top of the list, head of the heap. If The Queen can make it there, she’ll make it anywhere. It’s up to her, New York, New York! God the yanks are going to be moist with excitement. And if they’re not, they’re lying. [aolnews]

Justin Bieber Might Have To Tour North Korea – Ok, so you know this little tyke, Justin Bieber? The kid with that haircut that teenage girls are losing their minds over. Ja, him. Well anyway, there is a competition site which let’s people vote where they want Justin to tour next, with Justin promising he would do so, should your country get the highest votes. Unfortunately for him, some online pranksters ensured that North Korea would win. Send my best to Kim! [independent]

One Million Tourists Enter SA – The number of foreign visitors entering South Africa during the FIFA World Cup period has now risen to one million, the home affairs department said on Sunday. “This figure is expected to rise further as the World Cup enters the semi-finals and the final phases of the tournament,” said spokesperson Ronnie Mamoepa in a statement. [sport24]

Harry Potter Actress’s Father Trying To Kill Her – Father and brother of actress Afshan Azad, who starred in ‘Harry Potter’, have been charged with threatening to kill her. The 22-year-old actress was cast as Padma Patil, a classmate of the child wizard in the film series. Afshan was allegedly attacked because her family, who are Muslim, did not approve of her relationship with a Hindu man. [timesofindia]

Nigerian President Lifts Ban On Team – Nigerian President Goodluck (baking!) Jonathan has overturned his decision to ban the national football team for two years after their poor World Cup campaign. The president lifted the ban after the Nigerian Football Federation promised to disband and rebuild the side. This, after Fifa had said that it would expel Nigeria from world football if the government was seen to be interfering. [beeb]

Prince Reckons “The Internet Is Over” – “I really believe in finding new ways to distribute my music,” pop legend Prince told the Daily Mirror in an exclusive interview. “The Internet’s completely over,” he said. “I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it, and then they get angry when they can’t get it.” [mashable]

New Zealand Man Dies During Twilight Movie – The Twilight Saga: Eclipse claimed its first victim when a man in New Zealand died during an afternoon screening. Was he murdered… possibly by Taylor Lautner’s abs? The autopsy will be carried out tomorrow to find out. In the meantime, could all South Africans be very careful when they attend their first screening of this vampire/werewolf sequel. [gawker]

Victoria Beckham Joins Range Rover Design Team – Land Rover has held a private preview of its new Range Rover model almost a year ahead of its release, describing the vehicle as the “smallest, lightest and most fuel efficient Range Rover ever” and announcing Victoria Beckham as a new creative design director for the brand. How this will help their abysmal levels of service which should surely be a priority, I don’t know. [luxuo]

Sangoma’s Snake “Controlling World Cup Progress”Seized By SPCA – Someone at the SPCA is gonna make a fortune at the bookies! “The sangoma is alleged to have accepted money from soccer fans who requested that he communicates to the ancestors and appeal to them to allow their specific football team to progress in the game.” [sport24]

Lolly Jackson’s Murderer Possibly In Cyprus – The police are “holding discussions” with their counterparts in Cyprus about the possible presence of George Smith, the man who allegedly confessed to killing strip club owner Lolly Jackson. “He is possibly in Cyprus and there are already discussions with the police there,” Colonel Eugene Opperman said on Monday. Nice. Fifty bucks says he’s with this guy. [mail&guardian]

[thanks miki]