Our rabid international fan should know that a South African “braai” is our version of a BBQ.

Mainly ‘cos we’re awesome.

New Standard Operating Procedures released today – please learn

BRAAI RULES

We are about to enter the BRAAI season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BRAAI the following chain of events are put into motion:

Your basic braai

ROUTINE

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes desert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. he thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

Seems a bit unfair, no?

Naaah!!

[thanks dave]