Much like the hilarities found on Craiglist classifieds websites around the world, our very own online classifieds website, Gumtree, has been known to give us the odd corker from time to time.
Take this ad, for example:
Hello,
So firstly; this room is only available for a female. Sorry guys; it’s already two of us and an extra dude is asking for too much…
Hmmm, about the place… Huge apartment found on Barrack Street, in the heart of the CBD, with wooden floors and high ceilings. Lovely open living room with big windows, modern fully equipped kitchen. Front door leads right out onto the street.
About the room: So it’s pretty small, and it is lacking some privacy- as seen in the picture, the one side of the room is open. That side is where the stairs leading to and from the front door are found, so don’t worry, no one can sneak in while climbing the stairs. Plus, just hang a curtain/sheet and it should be kind of all good. BUT the size and lack of privacy is the reason for such a low low price. In fact, the R2000 rent a month includes all utilities, as well as premium DSTV (No internet. Also, 1 month security deposit will be required.) It comes with a bed (the bedspring box isn’t in the picture) as well as a bedside table. Closet space; hmmm… might have to make a plan.
Sidenotes: It is currently my roommate and myself living here. He is a 21 year old film student and I am a 25 year old working professional. We’re both laid back, tidy, social, outgoing. Technically it is a non-smoking apartment. However, we already smoke near the windows, but we still don’t want to over do it. Hence, we are looking for someone who doesn’t ‘really’ smoke cigarettes (as long as you’re not a chain smoker, in which case you could always just step outside), but is cool with other’s that do. Also, we tend to smoke some of the green, so if you’re not cool with this, well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be…
But wait, there is more (it gets even more awesome as he continues to smoke his very obvious joint)..
As for parking; there is a indoor parking complex right across the street (I rate +-R650 a month for covered parking) However, there is also street parking right outside the front door. Literally; I park my car and jump through the frontdoor. This parking is free from 4pm to 8am in the week, and from 1pm onwards on Saturday. It’s free on Sunday. So ideally if you are a working person with a car, it is completely possible to park outside for free if you leave by 8am in the morning. Each Saturday I pay R40 for parking, but that’s it.
Safety: The apartment is right across (like facing) a huge SAPD Dectective Unit so safety hasn’t (knock on wood) ever been an issue.
Lastly, I have a dog/puppy. He’s pretty chilled and well behaved, but just thought it should be noted. You can try spot him in one or two of the pictures.
And yeah, that’s the situation. The apartment will be available to take a look come this weekend so hit me up if you want to check it out.
Thanks and much peace.
[see ad here..]
God, what an absolute treat!
Obviously the mention of the joint resulted in him pausing to roll a quick one. Then he continued drafting the ad, zol in hand.
By the end, he clearly had some Bob Marley playing, before signing off “much peace.”
Pure quality!
I have no-doubt he climbed into some online blackjack after that!
[thanks nikki]
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