Nigerian politicians are pretty colourful characters, if news reports are anything to go by.

If they haven’t got two kilograms of coke (NOT the kind that fizzes with Mentos) in their political tummies, then they’re off marrying Egyptian 13 year-olds.

First up, the coke-head:

The National Drug Law Enforcement Agency said Monday it arrested 52 year-old Eme Zuru Ayortor at Lagos’ Murtala Mohammed International Airport. The agency says the pharmacist-turned-politician was trying to board a flight to Germany when a scanning machine detected an abnormality in his stomach.

Agents say they found 100 individually wrapped packages of cocaine inside his body. The agency says the politician claimed his failed 2007 run for the Edo state House of Assembly ruined him financially and smuggling drugs was the only way he could fund his 2011 election bid. He has yet to be charged.

Phwoah! Once a chemist, always a chemist. 100 individually wrapped packets of cocaine. That’s quite some blow.

But not the normal kinda blow. The other, OTHER kinda blow. Like, the Johnny Depp kinda blow. (Geddit, GEDDIT?!) Check out his speed-face.

But hey, at least he didn’t shack up with a 13 year-old, like this dude.

Meet Senator Ahmed Sani Yerima. Apparently he likes his meat extra fresh.

“I am only following Prophet Mohammed’s footsteps who married a nine-year-old girl, Aishatu,” Yerima told journalists last week Monday.

That’s a nice paedo-stash you’re rocking there, Ahmed.

[source : washington post, iol]