Have FIFA gone too far this time?

New FIFA TV Viewing Regulation Target Homeowners – FIFA announced on Thursday morning a series of new regulations targeted at private home owners, which will see levies charged on the watching of matches, and restrictions placed on the products that can be consumed during matches being screened in private homes, in a move designed to ensure “a more comprehensive World Cup experience for all South Africans”. [iafrica]

New Element Added To The Periodic Table – Jesus, we must get a statement from Case Rijsdijk, he’s bound to be in a complete spin about this! Meet the periodic table’s newest resident: Copernicium – a heavier relative of zinc, cadmium and mercury, was first seen in 1996 by German researchers. Named after Polish astronomer Nicholas Copernicus, it is element 112 and its symbol is Cn. Mmmm, sounds divine! [latimes]

Barack Obama’s Website Selling “Big Fucking Deal” T-shirts – No spice! Joe Biden’s health reform-related hot mic gaffe—”This is a big fucking deal”—appears to have inspired a t-shirt for sale on BarackObama.com. Unless the undisclosed abbreviation stands for something else entirely, of course. Like Biden’s Flying Dinosaur. [gawker]

Dawson Gets Nailed By Ex-Wife For Settlement – Former Dawson’s Creek star James Van Der Beek will be shelling out spousal support to his ex-wife for the next two-and-a-half years. In a divorce settlement filed Monday in Los Angeles court it was revealed that Van Der Beek, 33, will pay Heather Ann McComb $7,750 per month until December 2012. Wow. I wonder what Pacey thinks about all of this. Especially after losing Joey to Tom Cruise.. [people]

Vatican Hits Back At New York Times – The Vatican molested attacked The New York Times on Wednesday for its coverage of the sexual abuse of children by priests, rejecting accusations that Pope Benedict had mishandled a series of abuse cases before he was elected. Signaling it had decided to take the pants gloves off in its reaction to coverage of sexual abuse, a Vatican statement referred specifically to two reporters and a columnist. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance.. [yahoo]

Vanity Fair Features Tiger Woods’ Mistresses – Vanity Fair photographs and speaks with four women linked to Tiger Woods in its latest issue. A preview of the article at Vanity Fair’s web site confirms many previously rumored details and unveils new revelations. One source tells writer Mark Seal that Woods’ father Earl, who reportedly had a history of extramarital affairs, was a heavy drinker. Whilst Mindy Lawton claims to have had sex with Tiger in a parking lot while she was menstruating. Classy bird. [huffers]

Tiger Woods Was Led Astray By Michael Jordan And Charles Barkley – Tiger Woods became a self-indulgent, sex-crazed narcissist because he hung out with the wrong crowd — namely, hard-partying, high-stakes hoopsters Jordan and Charles Barkley, the shamed golfer’s longtime former adviser claims in an explosive new interview. “I told him, ‘Stay away from that son of a bitch [Jordan], because he doesn’t have anything to offer to the fucking world!” Wowsers! [nypost]

Casino Refuses To Pay Out $43million Jackpot – Unlike 2oceansvibe Lottos which ALWAYS pays winners, a customer at a Colorado casino was offered a free breakfast and $23 in lieu of the $42.9 million jackpot she won at a penny slot machine. Gaming authorities and officials at Fortune Valley Casino say the machine malfunctioned and that its top payout is only $251,000, but winner Louise Chavez says she’s owed the full amount named on the machine. [newser]

Chatroulette Penis Problem Solved – Hopefully you’ve heard about chatroulette.com – the new random video chat machine that let’s you see and chat to strangers. The only problem is very often you will be confronted with a penis – such is the nature of the priests perverts out there. Luckily there is a way to get around the penis attacks. [businessinsider]

Skydiver Aims to Jump From 120,000 Feet, Break the Sound Barrier – If you’re planning to jump out of a plane at 120,000 feet and break the sound barrier, you need a really fancy suit. Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner has been working with a company that makes space suits for astronauts in an effort to pull off a record-setting jump with the Red Bull Stratos project that he hopes will also lead to safer flight suits for future astronauts. Ok. Good luck with that. [wired]

New UK GQ Features Supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whitely Starkers – Hey everybody, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is naked again! As these incredibly sexy (albeit small) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley nude pictures from British GQ prove once again, there’s nothing Rosie likes more than getting naked in front of a camera, and frankly, there’s nothing I like more than letting her. [egotastic]

Anna Faris Takes Over Goldie Hawn’s Role In ‘Private Benjamin’ Remake – Another Goldie Hawn movie is set for a remake. Two weeks after the announcement that Jennifer Lopez would take over Hawn’s role in an “Overboard” redo, The Hollywood Reporter confirms that Anna Faris has been cast in the title role for a “Private Benjamin” update in development at New Line. It’s interesting to note that the original movie was also made into a TV show in the ’80s that lasted for three seasons. [mtv]

Where Did April Fool’s Day Originate – We know that April Fool’s Day, a worldwide celebration of pranks and hoaxes, was around before 1539, when the earliest clear reference appears in a Flemish manuscript. Beyond that, we’re not really sure. Theories on the origins of the goofy celebration abound—but, then again, they could be hoaxes themselves. [newsweek]