Candice Swanepoel..
..our very own Victoria’s Secret model

New Candice Swanepoel Victoria’s Secret Shoot – Just in case you needed any more proof that Candice Swanepoel is destined to rule the world by the power of her hotness, here are some amazing Candice Swanepoel bikini pictures from Victoria’s Secret. I think the secret is that these woman are our rulers, and we don’t even know it. But even if they rule over us with an iron fist, as long as they look like that and wear bikinis, I am totally cool with it. [egotastic]

New Atkins Diet Embraces Veggies – The world’s most famous diet is back! The Atkins Diet, the original low-carbohydrate regimen has been reworked in a new book that promises it’s healthier and more effective than ever. “The best way to describe this book is that it makes it easier to do the Atkins Diet than ever before – we’ve added a whole new element of flexibility and includes all the updates in science.” [nydailynews]

Oprah Winfrey Settles Defamation Suit With South African Head Mistress – Lawyers for Oprah Winfrey say the talk show host has settled a Philadelphia defamation lawsuit filed by the ex-headmistress of her girls school in South Africa. The lawsuit by former headmistress Nomvuyo Mzamane claimed Winfrey defamed her in remarks made in the wake of a 2007 sex-abuse scandal at the school. [associated]

Math Idiot Genius Turns Down $1M Prize – Grigory Perelman has solved one of math’s most intractable problems, a century-old puzzle that carries a $1 million prize. There’s just one problem: Perelman doesn’t want the money, and he won’t say why. He won’t say anything, in fact. He’s been holed up in his Moscow apartment, where he lives with his mother and sister, refusing to talk to the reporters camped outside. Oh God, there’s always one! [newser]

Russian Roulette Shock As Wedding Guest Shoots Himself – Now although the modern day equivalent is answering a private number, I am actually referring to the original form of Russian Roulette, which is basically the same thing – ie. putting one bullet in the revolver, spinning the chamber, and firing – in the hope that you don’t get hurt. Which was not the case in this instant. Silly fool. [dailymail]

50 Cent Would Avoid Using A Condom With GaGa, Beyoncé & Rihanna – MTV News caught up with 50 Cent recently while he was on tour in the UK. He got talking about who he would kiss, marry or avoid. “I would kiss Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Rihanna. I would marry Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Rihanna in Africa, I’d have 3 wives! And I would avoid wearing condoms and have really big families!” the rapper said. [mtv]

Something About Hate Speech and Something About Someone In The ANC Being Caught For Drunk Driving – That’s all waiting for you on the front page of the Mail & Guardian‘s website and newspaper. This is clearly of interest to you? But don’t forget the little story about something that Zuma has said about Malema. Throw in some crime statistics and a little rape report and you’re all set! Aah, good times! [mail&guardian]

Russia’s Amazing Drugs And Hookers Scandal – A top journalist caught on tape with a pile of cocaine, a party girl named Moomoo and an opposition activist filmed handing over a bribe. It’s hard to imagine Vladimir Putin, or his technocratic heir, Dmitry Medvedev, orchestrating a campaign so wrongheaded, so jaw-droppingly terrible in both planning and execution, that everyone can only sit back and enjoy the circus. [dailybeast]

North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il ‘Has Chronic Kidney Failure’ – The North Korean leader Kim Jong Il is suffering from kidney failure which requires dialysis and also has partial paralysis following a 2008 stroke, according to the head of a South Korean state research institute. I find that very hard to believe. Especially seeing as he is actually a God and was born at the end of a rainbow. Get real, people – Our Dear Leader is going nowhere! [timesuk]

Facebook Blamed for Rise of Syphilis in UK – Health experts at NHS Hartlepool in Britain are claiming that Facebook played a role in the recent fourfold increase in cases of syphilis in Teesside, Durham and Sunderland. Director of Public Health points to sites like Facebook “making it easier for people to meet up for casual sex.” Oh dearie dearie me! [mashable]

Insurance Approves R3.3million Car Repair Bill – The Pagani Zonda S, which can reach speeds of 220mph, was badly damaged when a professional driver took it out near Aberdeen last September. The £528,000 car spun out of control on a narrow country road before hitting a telegraph pole and smashing through a fence. It has now been sent for repair to Modena in Italy, where the vehicles are made. [metro]

Should ABBA Be In The Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall Of Fame? – The Swedish pop group’s March 15 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum seems weird and unnecessary, as do some of the previous years’ additions: Madonna, Joni Mitchell, Run-DMC, James Taylor, Michael Jackson and the Bee Gees. Yes, these are all talented artists, but it’s not rock ‘n’ roll. [time]

Pope Admits That Paedophilia & Church Betrayal Has Shattered Faith – Pope Benedict XVI has issued a dramatic apology to the victims of decades of sex abuse by Catholic priests. In an unprecedented papal decree on the issue of paedophilia and “sinful and criminal acts,” he admits that years of crimes committed by “men of God” in schools and orphanages had shattered faith in the Church. Really? [telegraph]

Bishop Resigns Amid Abuse Scandal – An Irish bishop resigned amid a Catholic church sex abuse scandal, apologizing in a statement Wednesday for any abuse that occurred in his diocese. Bishop John Magee of the diocese of Cloyne said he tendered his resignation to Pope Benedict XVI on March 9. Go Christianity! I wonder when the rest will come forward? Whenever you’re ready, Father Brooke.. [cnn]

[thanks warren, kate]