And it’s official (albeit possibly the biggest understatement of the year), India have gone cricket bev*k once again. Today see’s the opening of IPL3 and the subcontinent couldn’t be happier to have their tournament back from the Republic.

And I’m not using the phrase ‘bev*k’ lightly. Taking the IPL away from India for a year is a bit like taking football away from England, or drunken bar punch-ups from Lote Tuqiri. You’re taking away part of its staple diet. And as you soon as you thought it wasn’t possible, this multi-billion-dollar (not Zim) cash cow is upping the anti this year.

Ferdi signs the Hyundai Goodwill Ball - what's that say?

Not only are they paying real money to bring out Lionel Richie to sing at the opening ceremony, but such is the demand to catch an IPL game this year that they’re showing all the games at the cinema. And they’re showing them properly. There’ll be dancing girls, posters with 4s and 6s and even some peppy music!

As I type, there are children all over India starting their day off with face paint and some Lionel Richie on the wireless. They even have the option to play the IPL Facebook game (https://ipl.t20fever.com/cricketonline/), or to watch every game live and free on Youtube!

Heading into the third edition, the IPL3 jamboree joins the ranks of global events like the Olympics, the Commonwealth Games and of course, the FIFA World Cup.

So with only 90 days to go to the World Cup, have we got what it takes to match up to the Indians? Will we have all the exciting little gimmicks like a Facebook football game? Will somebody put pictures of Matthew Booth on all our payphones?  Will we be able to watch the live football on our cellphones? Will we get Lionel Richie? Will Surprise Moriri be tweeting from the bath

I hope so.

If the World Cup draw hoopla in Long Street was anything to go by, maybe we’re on our way. I went along to sign the Hyundai Goodwill Ball this week. It’s the first I’ve seen of great things to come. Ferdi came out of ‘celebrity’ retirement to add some words of wisdom alongside the likes of Roeland Schoeman, Watershed and Jomo ‘pump my fists’ Sono. (He in fact invented the ‘fist pump’, which was later vandalised by American rappers into the more colloquial fist pump we see today.)

There are only 90 days.

Let’s at least get Lionel for some Dancing on the Ceiling?

Chowgaps