Remember when you were a kid, and all you wanted to be when you grew up was Tiger Woods!? He was loaded, had a Scandinavian wife and ate salmon off Angelina Jolie for breakfast. He was the American Dream.

Well, it seems those days are gone. (Even though some would argue that there are a bunch of kids out there that, considering recent developments, still want to grow up to be like Tiger Woods.)

Maybe you wanted to grow up to be a pro-footballer like John Terry? I would like to digress for a minute here to help you realise what’s in store this weekend. On Saturday, Man City will play Chelsea. John Terry plays for Chelsea, and Wayne Bridge now plays for Man City. John Terry and Wayne Bridge were friends, but then John Terry shagged Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend (not cool!). Wayne Bridge will need to shake John Terry’s hand before the game, while the world watches. Neither has spoken since the incident. AWKWARD moment. Saturday, 2pm, Supersport3. Enjoy!

Things have changed over the past few months. There’s a big locker of skeletons somewhere, and the (lately very) liberal hand of truth has unlocked it and swallowed the key. Heat magazine has reconsidered its mission statement and is now, on occasions, printing the word ‘sport,’ while newspapers worldwide are now calling it the Smackpage Sports Section. The bottom line, sport gossip is on the up.

The latest casualty is American Olympian, Scotty Lago. Poor guy got sent home from the Winter Olympics after winning gold for his country, because a snotty-nosed teenager sent in some not-thaat-racy pics of a fan biting his medal. He’s a 22-year-old snowboarder… What did you expect? I would’ve accepted the uproar if the US Chess Squad behaved in the same way after taking gold but, come on, where are the double standards? Smackpage headlines for sure.

Are our sportsmen becoming more entertaining than sport itself? Are Defacebook and Twittle-tale sparking the downfall of our role models, pitching the high-profile rockstar lifestyle into wheely-bins for good? Is it over for skullduggery, marking the end to subterfuge and chicanery?

I hope not. Wayne Bridge has already pulled out of the English squad ahead of the Soccer World Cup, and I can’t even remember what Tiger’s backswing looks like.

The options for the age of honesty are simple. Either be a good honest man, in which case you’re incredibly boring and probably Swedish, or be super loaded like Tiger, so that when you make 19 mistakes, you get to keep your Scandinavian wife and your salmon.

Chowgaps

FRIDAY

4:30 PM – 8:30 PM Tennis SS5, SS5A

ATP World Tour 500:, Barclays Dubai Tennis Champs SF 2

5:30 PM – 9:30 PM CricketSS2, SS2A

Std Bank Pro20:, Warriors v Cape Cobras

6:45 PM – 9:30 PM Rugby SS1, SS1A

Rugby Super 14: Stormers v Brumbies

9:45 PM – 12:00 AM Rugby SHD, SS1A, SS1, CSN

Six Nations:, Round 3 – Wales v France

11:00 PM – 3:00 AM Golf SS6, SS6

AUS PGA Tour:, Phoenix Open Day 2

SATURDAY

8:00 AM – 10:30 AM Rugby SS1A, MNET, SS1, SHD

Rugby Super 14:, Hurricanes v Lions

10:30 AM – 12:45 PM Rugby MNET

Rugby Super 14:, Reds v Blues

10:30 AM – 7:00 PM Cricket SS2A, SS2

Ind Cricket:, India v South Africa 3rd ODI

12:00 PM – 4:00 PM Golf SS6, SS6A

Sunshine Tour:, Vodacom Champs Day 3

12:45 PM – 3:15 PM Rugby MNET, SS1, SS1A

Rugby Super 14:, Western Force v Chiefs

2:00 PM – 5:00 PM Soccer SHD

Prem League:, Chelsea v Man City

3:15 PM – 5:30 PM Rugby SS5, SS5A

Six Nations:, Round 3 – Italy v Scotland

3:15 PM – 5:30 PM Soccer SS4

Super Diski: NFD:, Champs Play Off – 1st Leg: Black Leopards v Vasco Da Gama

4:30 PM – 7:00 PM Rugby MNET, SS1A, SS1

Rugby Super 14:, Cheetahs v Highlanders

4:55 PM – 7:00 PM Soccer SSM2, SS3A

Prem League:, Birmingham v Wigan

5:45 PM – 7:55 PM Rugby SS5, SS5A

Six Nations:, Round 3 – England v Ireland

7:00 PM – 9:30 PM Soccer SS3

Prem League:, Stoke City v Arsenal (Hd)

7:00 PM – 9:30 PM Rugby SS1

Rugby Super 14:, Bulls v Waratahs

SUNDAY

4:00 AM – 5:25 AM Motorsport SS6A, SS6FIM

SB World Champs:, Australia SuperSport

5:00 AM – 9:00 AM Tennis SS5, SS5A

ATP World Tour 500:, Abierto Mexicano Telcel Presentado Por HSBC Final

6:30 AM – 10:30 AM Cricket SS2, SS2ANZ

New Zealand v Australia 2nd T20

9:45 AM – 6:00 PM Cricket SS5, SS5A

B`desh Cricket:, B`desh v England 1st ODI

12:00 PM – 4:00 PM Golf SS1, SS1A

Sunshine Tour:, Vodacom Champs Day 4

1:00 PM – 2:20 PM Hockey SS6A, SS6

Hockey World Cup:, South Africa v Spain

2:30 PM – 5:00 PM SoccerS HD

Prem League:, Spurs v Everton

4:45 PM – 7:55 PM Soccer SS3, SS3A

Carling Cup:, Final: Aston Villa v Man Utd

4:55 PM – 7:00  PM Soccer SS7

Prem League:, Liverpool v Blackburn

7:50 PM – 11:30 PM Cricket SS2, SS2A

WI Cricket:, West Indies v Zimbabwe T20