I know I’m stating the obvious here, but Denzel Washington is not Mr. T. They act, dress and talk differently… Mr. T carries that Mad Max era cool like someone before their time and while he’s been off the Hollywood scene beating Cancer and endorsing cooking gadgets in an apron, this could have been his defining Tarantino Phoenix Performance… (just made it up, roll with it). Yet, the title character role in The Book of Eli still went to Denzel… FOOLS!

I know it would be difficult to get over the fact that B.A. from The A-Team is Eli, but The Book of Eli isn’t that serious, Mr. T’s spiritual background, age and cult appeal fit right in with the nomadic character of Eli… and without Washington, they’d be able to afford some decent special effects, on-location shooting and maybe even a trilogy… DAMN!

Catch the rest of the review and the trailer after the jump…

If you watched Bravestarr as a kid or more recently as a giant toddler, you’ll get a whiff of the Marshall here. Eli’s a bit of a drifter, wandering in from out of town sporting the strength of the bear, the speed of the puma… blah, blah, blah. He’s on a top secret spiritual mission and preys prays on the people that aren’t trying to kill him. His precious cargo, a book of divine secrets, holds the key to saving mankind and as usual… some megalomaniac evil “mastermind” in the form of Tex Hex (Oldman) wants it all for himself.

Eli’s character is shrouded in mystery and for the first 30 minutes is very vague as the story’s hero. He kills a cat, listens to his antique iPod and reads from a book after his cat nap and kebab. We know he’s a traveler, we know he’s on a journey, we know he likes cats and after the first action sequence, we know he can fight like Jackie Chan on Red Bull. Now I don’t know if Afro Samurai went to Denzel’s head or if he just started saying “there can be only one” in front of the mirror, but the man’s ego literally slays his enemies in a matter of seconds in The Book of Eli.

Denzel’s ego aside… The Book of Eli is like a cross between Mad Max, Highlander and Resident Evil with Gary Oldman and Mila Kunis as Ego’s Eli’s nemesis and sidekick. The Book of Eli is blessed with strong stylistic elements as the post-apocalyptic desert world of tomorrow reminds us of other wasteland future trash action adventure sci-fi movies. The cast aren’t half-bad either with Washington’s experience leading the charge alongside everybody’s favourite comic villain, Gary Oldman (The Fifth Element) and that chick from that ’70s show, Mila Kunis.

“You don’t serve water? Lemme change your mind.”

The film does have some interesting bits and pieces… the last bottle of shampoo ever, the lack of clean water, the spiritual angle and the gore factor. The problem is that the dialogue is as heavy as a comic book, the character development is detached and the story is intriguing at first, but ultimately leaves its audience uninvolved. The Book of Eli is all about popcorn action sequences and fresh fun style, yet leaves a bunch of unanswered questions that are so vague, the gaping plot holes are almost big enough to drive a Hummer limo through.

The Book of Eli is one of those movies that combines popular themes and characters from so many better films that it becomes familiar yet indistinct in the cross-fire… like seeing your illegitimate biological son in a police line-up. The pacing is inconsistent and staggered as one moment it’s “that was pretty cool” and the next minute “what the hell happened to all my popcorn?”.

It will pass the time if you’re looking for some light sci-fi action fodder and while the religious thread will stimulate some debate, it’ll be surprising if The Book of Eli ever hits DVD shelves at CUM. To add insult to injury, it leaves a foot-in-the-door (or mouth) for a sequel, which I’m sure many will be lobbying their hardest to slam shut. Then again, maybe it would’ve been better served as a loose remake of Bravestarr with Mr. T as the title character? Oh well.

The bottom line: Iffy.

Release Date: 26 February, 2010

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