To do it right you need some essential skills. For me, my “skill set” is pretty vast, to say the least. To begin with, I’m pretty quick off the mark. I beat Craig Lorden (The Lord) in a foot race in London a few years ago, and Craig is well known for his pace. I also have incredible skill behind the wheel of a car, and was told I was a “natural” at the Audi Advanced Driver’s course at Killarney the other day. No, seriously.

The Perfect Martini
We’re getting there. Bear with me…

I am also able to perform complex mathematical calculations in my head and the only reason I dropped higher grade maths before finals in matric was because I was victimised by Sweaty Betty. This is slightly different to why I dropped Computer Studies, which was purely because Wendel was/is a sad, insecure angry person who should never have been allowed to teach children. Why exactly would you scream and threaten 15 year old kids, telling them that you are going to “put them through the wall?”

What do you mean you’re going to put me through the wall?? That must be illegal, no? To shove a 15 year old child through a brick wall must surely be against the law?

Shouldn’t you rather be focussing your attentions on getting that armpit-stained poo-brown jersey of yours washed?

Loser.

Phew, sorry about that – I feel much better now. Let’s get back to the happy place we were at and discuss another very important and necessary skill : how to make the perfect Martini!

I found this on the new blog launched by the genii who make the Luxe City Guides. Any traveller worth his/her salt will tell you that the Luxe City Guide is the ultimate guide to any city in the world.

So they’ve made this blog called LUXETASY, which has a habit of churning out awesome stuff that I want to read, covering multiple topics ranging from “The Most Beautiful Butcher’s Store in the World” and “the best place in the world to have brunch,” to a “new designer cat carrier for adventurers” and “recipe tips for people with a taste for spicy foods!” I’m FINE with that!

Anyway, I saw an article on it today and wanted to share it with you, as I think it is important that we all learn this recipe – it’ll go incredibly well with the “Sexy Avo” skill I taught you a year ago.

So here it is. Check out their vibe:

Dear hearts, what is that sound? The tinkle of ice? The thrum and thrall of expectation? Yes, oh yes, and thrice yes. When the Violet Hour comes, and come it always does – as the end of day approaches but night has not quite arrived, now is the time for The Beautiful Drink. Foolish is the creature who partakes at lunchtime, that way madness lies, and probably insider dealing or infidelity, or both. But at six o’clock, or seven if you must, is there a greater joy? For those who don’t drink martinis, it must seem like a ridiculous world – what’s so special about cold gin in a glass, right? In this case you may prefer to get on with that macramé unikini you’ve been promising yourself.

But for those in the club, read on…

How to make the perfect martini:

1 frozen martini glass
1 bottle frozen Tanqueray
1 small atomiser of Noilly Prat
lemon twist and/or olives

Take your frozen glass, atomise one spray of Noilly Prat over the top, fill almost to brim with nitrogen cold gin, add olive or lemon twist (or both in my case) and serve to deeply moved and adoring guest, who knows already this will be the best martini they’ve had in a very long time. Simple.

Now exactly what is difficult about this? How do so many people get it so wrong when it’s the quite the simplest thing on the planet?

Follow this link to find out..

[click here for more]

Aren’t you pleased that we did that?

Did you click that link to check out how to make it work and where people usually get it wrong??

I hope so.

I fucking hope so.

I’m gonna test you the next time I see you..

But for now, I’m making one of the better martini’s you will ever taste..

*The “Sexy Avo” video and tons of other videos (including the series Seth made in Hollywood with Pauly Shore, and all of last year’s Weather Girls episodes with everyone from Tracy McGregor, Helen Zille and Billy Zane) are all available on the 2oceansvibe DVD, entitled Touch Yourself. Click here to order yours now!

*The 2oceansvibe DVD is also available from Butlers Pizza.