From bowling to boning! It looks like there are more things to think about before a big game, besides fielding practice and the bowling machine.

Gary Kirsten believes a good session before heading on to the sports field is all India’s cricketers need to bring home the trophies.

Judging by the action the boys get, the document has also been distributed amongst the Proteas and suggests that picking up chicks at 2am does not qualify, but rather if you do have someone at home, to give it a bash.

Gary Kirsten (right)
Encouraging sex.

Sport24 tells us:

New Delhi – India’s cricketers at the Champions Trophy in South Africa are being encouraged by their coach to have sex to boost their on-field performance, a newspaper reported on Wednesday.

The benefits of sex feature prominently in a secret document circulated among players by coach Gary Kirsten and mental conditioning expert Paddy Upton, the Hindustan Times said in a front-page report.

It came as India take on arch-rivals Pakistan in their first Champions Trophy match in Centurion on Saturday.

The large-selling broadsheet, which claimed to have a copy of the document, said the relevant chapter was headlined “Does sex increase performance?”.

“Yes it does, so go ahead and indulge,” the document said, before detailing the benefits of a good sex life and even suggesting “going solo” if no partners were available.

“From a physiological perspective, having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness,” the document said.

“Conversely, not having sex for a period of a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone levels in both males and females, with the corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression.”

The document quotes Tim Noakes, a professor and sports scientist at the University of Cape Town, Kirsten’s home town, as saying that “sex was not a problem, but being up till 02:00, probably having a few drinks at a bar while trying to pick someone up, on the eve of a game, almost always was.”

The document helpfully suggests a solution.

“If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine,” the document said.

“No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep.”

Enforced celibacy may also affect performance, the advice said.

“You may experience that your mind spends more time focusing on the fire in your groin than on good sport practice, preparation and sleep,” the document said.

The document also stresses the importance of being aggressive on the field from the start, self-improvement and healthy eating.

Didn’t you LOVE the part about singletons? Saying that they should not be shy of masturbation? Wow, thank God you told them! But then going as far as suggesting some wanking techniques, “whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine”

Group sex wanking scenarious – clearly the way forward.

[thanks clinton]