If you’re reading this it means that Seth has given me permission to go and celebrate my heritage. Just know that I go with a heavy heart and an empty bladder- missing a Thursday Roundup absolutely guts me. Through the power of words I am able to convey feelings and emotions that come from the most intimate whiskey-riddled depths of my soul. The Thursday Roundup has meant that for one time in my life, I am not seen as a senile pensioner with a lazy eye and a rambling opinion.

How Peter de Villiers will be spending Heritage Day

That’s because here, in the realms of cyberspace, Blades is equal. Gout and poor eyesight from frequent masturbation (yes, the old wives’ tales are true) are problems for the real world. Not the Thursday Roundup. Heritage Day is a time for reflection. Can you trace your heritage? I, for example, descend from a long line of very successful alcholics: my great grandfather was the first Scot to pass a kidney stone at a club rugby match. My grandmother (on my mother’s side) was the first woman to have a gin epidural. These might not stand out as amazing achievements, but I can tell you that passing a kidney stone whilst scoring the winning try is no mean feat.

We are a product of our past and in order to know where we are going, we need to know where we come from. I certainly know where I am going. To Hermanus. To reflect. To drink. If you don’t hear from me by Tuesday, please call my sister, Agnes, on (021) 686 1202. She’ll activate the GPS located under my left big toe.

Again: thank you Seth. May your long weekend be filled with meaningless encounters with members of the opposite sex as well as free alcohol (preferably a combination of both). And apologies to you: the 2oceansvibe reader. I am sure that you’ll understand if I say that work is a sideline and uncle Blades needs a bit of a holiday.

Until next week. Cheers

TV Times
Thu 24/9

09:00    Cricket ICC Champs Trophy: South Africa v New Zealand   SS2
19:00    Golf US PGA Tour: The Tour Champs Day 1 SS5

Fri 25/9

14:00  Cricket ICC Champs Trophy: Sri Lanka v England SS2
19:00   Rugby Absa Currie Cup: Sharks v Platinum Leopards SS1
19:00   Golf US PGA Tour: The Tour Champs Day 2 SS5

Sat 26/9
09:15    Cricket ICC Champs Trophy: West Indies v Australia SS6
14:00    Cricket ICC Champs Trophy: India v Pakistan SS2

14:50  Rugby Absa Currie Cup: Western Province v Griquas SS1
17:00  Rugby Absa Currie Cup: Blue Bulls v FS Cheetahs        SS1

13:00    Soccer Premier League: Portsmouth v Everton  SS3
15:45     Soccer Premier League: Stoke City v Manchester Utd SS3
15:55     Soccer Premier League: Liverpool v Hull City
18:00    Soccer Premier League: Fulham v Arsenal

18:00    Golf US PGA Tour: The Tour Champs Day 3 SS5
18:15    Motorsport F1: Singapore Qualifying SS6

Sun 27/9

09:15    Cricket ICC Champs Trophy: New Zealand v Sri Lanka SS6
13:30    Motorsport F1: Singapore Race SS1
14:00    Cricket ICC Champs Trophy: South Africa v England SS2
18:00    Golf US PGA Tour: The Tour Champs Day 4 SS5